Page 11 of What You Own
“Course I did. I hated every single second that we weren’t talkin’, like I’ve hated it these last couple of years. More than anything, I wanted you back.” His voice cracked with emotion, and I wanted to hug him. I wanted to make all the hurt go away, and I didn’t know how.
“So were we friends again, before Chad and his pals showed up?”
Ryan made a pained noise. “Somethin’ like that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Between me forgivin’ you and Chad beatin’ on us, somethin’ else happened.” He didn’t sound scared or angry—simply sad.
My pulse jumped. “What happened?”
He hesitated, and then determination washed over him. He reached for me, and I didn’t have enough sense to dodge him. He put his hands on either side of my face, and then he leaned down and kissed me.
Chapter 4
Ryan
IWASa bleeding-heart fool, but this big fool kissed Adam anyway. Telling him we kissed in the parking lot outside Pizza City would have been easier, but I’m not big on easy. Maybe it’s why I fell for him in the first place. It’s definitely why I stopped walking toward the bus station and talked to him again, when my brain told me to flee. My stupid heart kept me there, and my stupid heart made me kiss him for the second time ever.
His mouth felt the same, his lips warm and soft on mine. Electricity zinged up my spine like a cattle prod to the back, and the spark went straight to my dick. I wanted to haul him in and kiss him stupid, only I didn’t dare. He was stiff, not pulling away but not moving in, either. I wanted more, and I didn’t dare to hope for it.
Until he softened beneath my hands, parted his lips, and kissed me back. Tentative, then stronger, curious—just like the first time.
In public, like the first time.
Dread squeezed my heart into a tiny ball, and I pulled back violently, giving him an impolite shove that nearly sent him over onto his ass. Adam blinked at me, wide-eyed, lips shiny and begging to be kissed again. Wonder and shock played on his face, and I couldn’t stand seeing that again. I didn’t want to see that beautiful wonder ripped away by an asshole’s mean words.
“That’s what happened,” I said. “That’s why we got bashed. That’s why you were in the hospital for six weeks with a fuckin’ skull fracture. Happy now?”
I retreated without waiting for an answer. I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to get on the bus and go home. My shared apartment with Ellie was small, needed new paint, and smelled faintly of feet, but it was private, and I could lose my shit for a while without an audience. Adam walking away from us as easily as he did back then made more sense—he didn’t remember there’d been an “us” to begin with. An “us” that was only two minutes old before it got shredded, but we’d existed.
For a few brief moments, I’d been the happiest guy on the planet, knowing the boy I loved had loved me back.
Shitty sense of humor.
Adam
WHENRYANsaid something else happened between him forgiving me and us getting bashed, I never expected that “something else” to be a kiss. A public kiss in a pizza parlor parking lot. And I certainly didn’t expect Ryan to relive the moment rather than simply say it.
I stared at his departing back, utterly dumbfounded by his polarized behavior. From upset talking about the bashing to shockingly tender during the kiss, right back to shoving me away like I’d offendedhimwhen he was the one to kissme. I touched my lips with my fingertips, still able to feel Ryan’s mouth on mine.
At first I’d been too shocked to react to the kiss. Stunned he was kissing me at all, much less right there on the street in full view of anyone passing by. Then something had caught hold of me. Something warm and tender had blossomed in my chest, and I’d relaxed. I kissed him back, curious, needing to know more. It had felt… right. My heart fluttered at the memory of it. Our first kiss.
Only it wasn’t really our first. We’d kissed before. And I’d forgotten.
No, that wasn’t fair. The memories were stolen from me by that damned skull fracture. I’d been helpless to remember such a significant event, helpless to stop everything that came next. But I wasn’t helpless now. Ryan didn’t get to drop a bomb like that on me and then clear out without helping clean up the destruction. He did that once before, in the hospital, by staying away instead of facing what had happened.
He didn’t get to walk away this time. I had questions.
Ryan still had feelings for me. If he didn’t he’d have told me we kissed instead of laying one on me like that. And that kiss had stirred up feelings inside me that I didn’t recognize. Feelings different from the sense of friendship and trust we’d always had. Feelings that went a hell of a lot deeper and that I didn’t understand what to do with.
We had to keep talking about this.
I jogged back to the parking lot for my car.
Ryan
THEBUSstop was three blocks away from the center, and the sign was clearly visible when a car engine rumbled up next to me. I didn’t look.
