Page 32 of What You Own
We did pick a song for next week’s class, though. Adam figured out an easy way to turn “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile” into a duet, and we sang it through a few times. Singing with him again felt great. Right. I was hard the whole time—being near him in private was bad for my blood flow and my concentration—but Adam was still sitting funny, and I wasn’t gonna pressure him into anything. Not after how I’d acted earlier.
Yeah, Adam pushed my buttons but I should’ve been more careful. Instead I lost my head, took his virginity, and left him with a slight limp.
Is it wrong to be both proud and ashamed of something like that?
The clock inched closer to eight. He didn’t have to leave before Ellie got home, but he was starting to fidget. He knew Ellie didn’t like that we were together, and he was cool enough to want to respect my friendship with her. But damn if I didn’t want every single second with him I could get.
“Will I see you before Wednesday’s fundraiser meeting?” Adam asked.
I whooped a little inside because he’d asked first. “Do you wanna?”
“Yes. I worked it out that I’m interning five days, four hours in the morning and done every day at twelve thirty. It gives me the afternoons to help with the benefit. Among other things.” His pretty eyes lit up with heat I had no time to stoke and see roar. Why hadn’t he looked at me like that half an hour ago?
“How about tomorrow?”
Adam frowned. “I don’t think I can. Dad’s having a brunch for some clients, and then we’re going to a family dinner. My day’s pretty booked.”
“Okay. Monday afternoon? I get off work at three.”
“I can do that.”
“Wanna meet here? Ellie won’t be home.”
“Definitely.”
Neither of us had to say why we were meeting here or why we needed Ellie gone. My woody got even stiffer. I reached down and adjusted myself without thinking. Adam noticed. His nostrils flared, and he licked his lips. We were both dressed, hanging out near the kitchen counter, arms touching. I’d spent more time today touching him than not touching, and I wanted to touch all of him, all over again. Remind myself he was real.
We were real.
Adam glanced at the clock, then grabbed my hand and yanked me into my bedroom. I didn’t have time to process walking, much less him shoving me against my closed door and dropping to his knees. He worked my belt and fly, and oh my God, his mouth was on me again. Sucking hard and fast, using his hand where his lips couldn’t reach. Everything telescoped into hot, wet, more, now! He sucked me like he needed me to breathe, which was okay, because I was pretty sure I needed him just as bad.
I grabbed his hair so I had something besides air to hold on to, and his free hand squeezed my thigh. Thrust, squeeze, oh fuck! It all coiled up tight, then exploded, sending hot sparks up my spine as I shot into his mouth.
Holy damn, but I’d never gone off so fast in my life. I blinked down at Adam, brain fuzzy, feeling dumber than a bag of hammers because I couldn’t move. He grinned up at me, lips wet and red, kinda satisfied with himself. I figured on reciprocating, but when he stood up he just tucked me back into my pants and planted a hard, wet kiss on me. I kissed him back, blood humming from my orgasm.
“I’ll see you Monday,” he said.
“Yeah.”
The apartment felt empty when he left, like all the warmth had been sucked out. I cleaned up the kitchen. Was tossing my sheets into a laundry bag to haul downstairs to the building facilities when Ellie came home. She saw the bag, and her eyebrows went right up, all indignant with me. She didn’t say anything, though, just went into her room while I went to do my laundry.
I only had the one set of sheets, and if I was gonna be seeing and fucking Adam as often as I hoped, I didn’t wanna be doing laundry every other day. I made a mental note to buy more sheets.
Chapter 10
Adam
TWOWEEKSnever went by so fast.
We spent every spare moment we could find getting to know each other again—in and out of Ryan’s bed. Not that all of our sex was relegated to the bed. We were both overly fond of his sofa, but only when we knew Ellie was working or out with her boyfriend. She was polite when we interacted during benefit meetings, or if we passed each other at the apartment. I didn’t begrudge her distrust of me. In fact, I appreciated her presence in Ryan’s life. She’d been there for him in high school when everything was falling apart. She’d been the shoulder he needed to lean on. She was allowed to be protective.
Did I mention the sex I had with Ryan was amazing? Toe curling? Ball tingling?
All of the above.
I’d read flowery things about sex and intimacy in books. Experiencing it was a completely different ball game, with consequences I didn’t expect. Like feeling chilly when I was alone in my own room, even buried beneath blankets. Like physically aching for him to touch me when we’d been apart for twenty-four hours. Everything I’d felt during those two weeks between Thanksgiving and the bashing, only amplified by ten thousand.
With Ryan, I felt alive. Without him, something vital was missing.
