Page 41 of What You Own
The fireworks display lasted about seven minutes, and we stayed on the whole time. I couldn’t see his face, but I heard his gasps and sharp breaths, tiny reactions to the beauty of those colorful bursts. I wanted to be watching them like my parents were—holding hands, gazing up, shoulders touching. I wanted that with Adam. I imagined him next to me, connected for real instead of over the phone.
The power of the fireworks built inside of me, and three little words burbled up. I shoved them back down. When I said it, it wouldn’t be on the phone. I’d tell Adam to his face that I loved him. In a moment when it mattered.
They ended too soon. “I can’t stay on,” Adam said, a little breathless.
“You okay, hoss?”
“I will be.” Nothing else but silence.
I hated leaving it there, but maybe he’d wanna talk it out next time we got together. “Okay. Thanks for calling.”
“Anytime. Thank you, again, for earlier.”
“Happy to, you know that. Happy Fourth, Adam.”
“Happy Fourth, Rye.”
Chapter 12
Adam
TENDAYSuntil the benefit.
I’d begun keeping a mental countdown after the Fourth reminded me how close we were to the actual benefit. The kids at the center were rehearsing in small groups every single Saturday. The performing adults fit in time whenever they could. The committee met every Wednesday to go over the auction donations, decorations, catering, and everything else that popped up during the week. We had our last committee meeting tonight, because instead of our usual Wednesday meeting next week, we had arranged for a tech rehearsal Thursday with all of the participating adults and kids. Friday we’d do a dress rehearsal and iron out the last of the kinks.
Everything was coming together—me and Ryan included, over and over, as often as possible.
The first time we saw each other after all the drama of the Fourth, I’d spent a lot of time being held by him. Comforted and petted, while he listened to me rage about my father’s lies and manipulations. About how he’d chosen his business over his wife’s best interests, and how at the end of the day, I still loved the bastard. I still craved his approval.
The one thing I didn’t tell him was what Dad said about me taking over LQF. I don’t know if it’s something I wanted to do, even if offered, but I didn’t want it to color Ryan’s view of things. I didn’t want him to think I was giving up running a million-dollar company for him. After all, I couldn’t give up something that was never really mine to begin with, and LQF wasn’t mine.
Ryan was mine. And I was his. That’s what I clung to as the days passed us by and the performance drew closer.
The countdown also served to remind me that I had a decision to make. I knew I couldn’t live without Ryan, but confronting my father with the news that I was with Ryan… the idea terrified me into inaction. And procrastination. Time would catch up to me sooner or later, and I’d be forced into making a move, and part of me was okay with that.
The rest of me knew I was being a big fucking coward.
I breezed through the day, my skin buzzing with anticipation of seeing Ryan again tonight. Ellie had to work after the benefit meeting. Ryan did too, but not until midnight, which gave us a few hours to continue our efforts of making up for a lot of lost time—and a lot of missed orgasms. I filed and ran errands all over the building for Lacey, who was stressed out helping my dad’s new temp. I asked her about Jesse, who’d had the position for weeks, but she didn’t know.
At quarter to one, Lacey flagged me down at her desk. “Joe wants to see you before you leave,” she said.
She didn’t sound worried or upset, so I didn’t think anything of the summons. Not even after Joe told me to close the door and take a seat. I did, wondering silently if this was to do with the benefit. He was typing and didn’t look up for several minutes that I spent trying to not tap my foot.
“Hello, Adam, how are things?” he asked.
“Things are great,” I replied. “Hey, do you know what happened to Jesse? He was here for so long I figured Dad had just gone ahead and hired him full-time.”
Joe’s mouth pressed into a flat line—not good. “I think Raymond was going in that direction. He changed his mind a few days ago and told the agency Jesse was no longer effective.”
“What?” Something deep inside me knew the answer, but I asked anyway. “Why?”
“Officially, he was no longer performing to the expectations of this office.” Joe steepled his fingertips and leaned forward on his elbows. “Unofficially, he found out Jesse is a homosexual.”
My heart nearly leapt from my chest. “He what?”
Joe studied me, and I felt certain he saw a giant, neon sign over my head that saidQueer.“You know how your father feels about homosexuality. He can’t say it in so many words for fear of a lawsuit, but you and I know that’s the reason. Jesse was a competent office assistant.”
“And Jesse isn’t suing?”
