Page 43 of What You Own
I didn’t know what to believe anymore, but that didn’t change one simple truth. “My father still should have done more to save her.”
“Perhaps he should have. But do you see why he made the choices he did three years ago? Yes, he protected LQF, but he protected you too. Raymond wants you to have a safe, successful, happy life. It’s all he’s ever wanted for you.”
“Ryan makes me happy.” I still couldn’t believe I was sitting there having this conversation with my father’s oldest friend and business partner. Ice skated down my spine. “Are you going to tell him?”
Joe’s bushy eyebrows jumped. “Tell your father that you’re taking up with Ryan again? No. That isn’t my information to share. Raymond hasn’t paid much direct attention to the fundraiser at the Paige Center, because it’s going through my office. However, once he realizes that Ryan Sanders is a part of it, he’ll ask you. You know he will.”
“Yeah.” Part of me was surprised he hadn’t found out yet.
“You also know Raymond won’t stand for you being with Ryan.”
Something bitter splashed into the back of my throat. “You mean he won’t stand for me being with a man instead of a woman.”
Joe nodded, and I swore I spotted a flash of sympathy.
“I had a plan, you know?” I said. “Finish college, get a job, move out, and then tell him. Tell Dad that I’m gay, and that shoving Ryan out of my life didn’t change that. Tell him that I’m going to find Ryan and apologize and talk to him about what happened, because I believe he’s worth it.”
“And then life flipped your plan on its ass.”
“Life shot my plan all to hell and back. I can’t give up Ryan without driving him away for good. I can’t come out now without losing all of my financial support, my home, my college tuition. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, Joe.”
“Things rarely turn out as we plan them, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“No kidding.”
Joe stood and came to my side of the desk. “You have my word that this stays between us.”
“Thank you. Really, thank you.”
He shook my hand in a warm, tight grip. “Just promise you’ll tread carefully. If it all comes out the wrong way, your father could make this very difficult for Ryan’s family.”
You mean if I come out the wrong way, and is there really a right way to do this?
The phone buzzed, followed by Lacey’s voice. “Mr. Q, your one fifteen is here.”
Had we really been talking for that long? Joe let go of my hand, and I excused myself from his office. My mind was racing for the entire drive home. Racing with bits of our conversation and with all of the warnings Joe had heaped into a very simple reminder. My father owned half the restaurant Mr. Sanders managed. He played tennis with the owner of the hotel where Mrs. Sanders was a public relations coordinator. Dad could hurt them both so easily, and he’d do it if he could use it against me.
Dad couldn’t know Ryan and I were together. But Joe had already figured it out. How long did I have before Dad put it all together too?
Ryan
BECAUSEIhad to work at seven to fill in for a callout, everyone was cool about having the committee meeting early, at five o’clock instead of seven thirty, and at Shorty’s Diner, which was only two blocks from the center. Still central to everyone, plus I got to eat a stack of their blueberry pancakes for dinner. Ellie and Susan did most of the talking, like usual, while Adam and Larry and I mostly nodded along and answered when talked at.
Adam was real quiet, more than normal for him. He looked funny too, like he’d swallowed sour milk and wasn’t sure if it was gonna revisit or not. He picked at the BLT he’d ordered and ate a few potato chips. I didn’t say anything to him, because he hated me fussing over him in public. I figured I’d save up and fuss on him plenty later when people can know he’s mine.
Luckily, I’m not the only one who noticed.
“Adam, you all right, honey?” Susan asked during a pause in fundraiser chatter.
The question got all eyes on Adam, and he squirmed. “I’ve felt off all afternoon. I’m probably just overtired. It’ll pass.”
Sounded reasonable enough to me.
“Internship running you ragged?” Larry asked.
“It’s definitely a challenge.”
“Yeah, filing all day is what’s wearing your ass out,” Ellie said with a meanness in her voice that surprised me.
