Page 60 of What You Own
He pulled back far enough to look at me. I couldn’t seem to look up farther than his chin. “Rye, why do I get the feeling that Bobby was apologizing to you for something I don’t know about?”
Aw hell. “Because he was.”
Adam tensed. He didn’t pull away, though. “Tell me.”
“I was gonna tell you about it after the show tonight, I swear. I didn’t want no more secrets, hoss, not between us.”
“Did you leave out something about the night of the bashing?”
How did hedothat? “Yeah. When I told you about it, I sorta skipped somethin’.”
His hands skated up my sides and came to rest on my chest, fingers splayed. “Look at me.” I did, my own hands trembling, and instead of the anger I expected, all I saw in his eyes was love. Curiosity. Determination. No reproach, no annoyance.
He gave me courage when I had none of my own. “Remember when I said they dragged me behind the dumpster, and Sam had me up on my knees?”
Adam nodded. “And then someone yelled your name.”
“That was after.”
“After what?”
I swallowed against the vile stuff trying to fill my throat. “Chad said he’d break your other arm unless I gave him a blow job.”
His eyes went wide. Nostrils flared. Something dangerous darkened his whole face, and he looked like a bull about to charge.
“I couldn’t stand him hurtin’ you anymore, so I did it.” My voice was breaking apart, so thin I wondered if he actually heard me, and my mouth tasted sour. I swallowed and nearly gagged. “Not for very long, though, ’cause he hit my gag reflex hard and I threw up on his shoes.” My only semigood memory of that whole ordeal—until Chad kicked me in the face with a vomit-soaked sneaker.
“Fuck, Ryan.” Adam cupped my cheeks, hot skin on cold, his eyes blazing with furious tears. “Fuck.”
Saying it out loud and seeing Adam’s reaction somehow lessened the burden of carrying that ugly memory around. My courage got bigger, a little brighter, squashing down the bile in my throat.
“Did you tell anyone?” he asked.
“Sure I did. I told the police when they took my statement. I told my parents. Your daddy knew too, because I heard my daddy yelling at him about it when we learned about the deal he made with those guys.”
Something like rage engulfed Adam, and I grabbed hold tighter in case he shook himself apart with it. “My dad knew? He knew and he still—fuck!”
“It’s over and done, babe, it’s done.” I hugged him hard, wishing I could pull him right inside myself and keep him there until he’d calmed down. It wasn’t really done with, and it might never be, but I needed him to calm the hell down. “I kept you from getting hurt worse than you were, and I’m okay with that.”
“Butyougot hurt, and I’mnotokay with that.”
“I know. That’s why I love you so much.”
“Me too. God.”
We held each other in that little office until someone knocked on the door. Ellie popped her head in. “Five minutes, guys.”
“We’ll be right there,” I said, a little hoarse.
She glanced at us both, flashed a sad, understanding smile, thenleft.
“You okay to do this?” Adam asked.
“Yeah.” I didn’t know why I felt so okay about it. Maybe because the one person I wanted to tell for so long finally knew. Maybe I could let go of a little more ugly. “How about you?”
Adam shrugged with his eyebrows. “If you see my father within five feet of me, make sure I don’t punch him in the face.”
He looked pretty serious, and that worried me. “I’ll keep myself between you two, okay?”
