Kimberly rolled over in the beanbag and used her index finger as a bookmark. “How do people know they’re in love?”
Elle sat in the other beanbag. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s like the books. Take the one you are reading. Halfway through, Mr. Darcy declares his love, but is that what it is? Maybe. He has seen Elizabeth’s wit and some of her kindness, and I don’t think it’s lust, although who knows? Miss Austen would not mention more than his fine eyes. Half the romance novels out there are talking about lust. How fast can people steam up the pages? I think at the time of the second proposal, Elizabeth truly admired Mr. Darcy, but did she love him, or did she love Pemberley? What if we could see them ten or fifty years later? I think love is something that takes time to grow. There must be a certain level of attraction first, but if the feelings don’t continue to grow...” Elle shrugged. “But what do I know? I have a crush on a guy who doesn’t even know I exist.”
“I don’t think Alan ignores you as much as he worries about the hero-complex thing.”
“Abbie warned me about crushes on my bodyguard, but it has been months. I think if Alan were just a crush, it would have been over by now. I’ve seen him where he wasn’t at his best enough to know the real Alan.”
Kimberly pushed herself up. “Wait, what? Alan was your bodyguard?”
“For two weeks. You didn’t know?”
Kimberly shook her head. “No, but that explains a lot. Like why he is overprotective of you.”
Elle rolled her eyes. “Ya think? But my story isn’t the one that matters right now. I’m assuming we are talking about you and the bodyguard you married, which is complicated because you are carrying your dead husband’s child and are technically paying your current husband to be your bodyguard or your bodyguard to be your husband, depending on which role comes first in your life.”
“That was supposed to sound less complicated when you said it.”
Elle shrugged. “Life is complicated. People who say it isn’t are in denial or delusional. There will not be a less complicated time to work things out. But that isn’t saying you have to work everything out today. Look at Adam and September. She knows she will marry him. We know she will marry him. But she’s giving herself a year to make sure she is marrying him for the right reasons. Give yourself time. You don’t need to run out and get a divorce the moment the baby is born or your husband’s killer is found. The two of you have been in a highly stressful situation. If you weren’t married, Jethro would probably reassign Alex.”
“But he loves me so much more—” Kimberly covered her mouth, embarrassed.
“Mr. Darcy loved Elizabeth first. Does first mean more?”
Kimberly didn’t have an answer for her.
* * *
Alex heard a cupboard in the kitchen close, then the refrigerator open. He picked up his phone to check the time, the screen illuminating the room. 1:47 a.m., July 31. Out of habit, he slipped on his shoes before going to the kitchen.
Kimberly stood in front of the refrigerator, a finger on her chin.
“Can’t sleep?”
She closed the fridge. “No, and nothing sounds good. Nothing feels good.” She tried to reach around her back.
“Would you like another back rub?” One of the massage techniques he’d learned at the prenatal class seemed to help her aching back.
“Do you mind?”
“Not at all. I’ll get the tennis ball and meet you in your room.” Alex checked the security cameras. Nothing. Good. One of the guys over at the caretaker’s house was logged in and monitoring things. Alex signed off without checking in. The pattern had been the same for the past several nights. He’d get up in the middle of the night, check in, and coax Kimberly back to sleep. Sometimes twice. If she would stop being so stubborn and let him sleep with her when they went to bed in the first place, they would both get more sleep.
Kimberly sat on the side of her bed with the lamp on. “Sorry I woke you.”
Alex sat behind her and placed his thumbs on either side of her spine. “Really? I thought you would be glad you woke me.” He kneaded his way up to her midback and back down.
“Mostly sorry?” Kimberly leaned into his touch.
“I’ll accept that. Is it only the baby keeping you up?”
“No, today is the day there should be something in the mailbox. I’ve thought up so many scenarios for what could be in there. I can’t wait to open it, but at the same time, I hope it’s empty.”
Alex used the tennis ball to massage her lower back. “I don’t think you should come.”
“I know. Mrs. Capps doesn’t want me to go either. She says I’m more dilated than she expected. But I still want to go.”
“I’ll bring you back some of those peanut butter cookies you like so much.”
“What if I have to sign something?”