Page 13 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz
‘But, Neil, I wish to tell everyone.’
‘And we will. We just need to keep it quiet for now.’He kiss me and held me close. ‘I’m waiting for the right moment.’
‘And right moment is when I am not here?’
‘I think it’s best to break it to them gently. They’ll be staying while you’re in Paris and with it being the same weekend as the anniversary of Maya’s death, I think it’ll go better if I do it alone.’
I have only met Rita and Terry a couple of times – they live in Devon – but I do not think Rita likes me. Also, she is not very good with the children. Grace say to me she is frightened when her nanna claps her hands together loudly many times when she wants the children to be quiet.
‘Theo, Nanna and Gramps can’t wait to see you again. They’re bringing up your birthday presents.’ Neil tells his son.
Theo shrugs. ‘What’s for pudding?’
Grace taps my arm. ‘I want to dance like you, Guy-da.’
‘Well, you must practise your ballet steps, Grace. I did very much practise when I was a little girl in Latvia.’
‘And I want to see you dance in your costumes.’
‘One day, sweetie,’ I reply.
I have not told Neil I am not in actual fact dancing in the Expression competition. I am only the reserve. I make terrible mistake in the last competition and all my steps went wrong. Clarissa could not hide her disappointment. The other dancers were really kind, especially Asha and Ruby. But I felt awful. I think it was my fault we did not come first in the North West heats. When Clarissa ask meto dance in Paris, I said no. But Ruby say they needed a reserve and Asha spoke to me so sweetly, in the end I said yes.
I think back to when I first joined Clarissa’s class around four years ago. I had met Hazel, Clarissa’s close friend, when I show her around St Ann’s Hospice, and we started to talk about dance.
‘Dance has been my life,’ she told me. ‘Nothing else compares to that amazing feeling of euphoria that comes with a wonderful dance routine.’
‘I also love dance. In actual fact, I dance with Latvian theatre company for few years.’
‘Did you? Goodness. Why did you stop?’
‘I had my diagnosis and was very poorly. It was not possible to continue. Then, when I recover, I make up my mind to train as nurse and I did not have time, but I miss it very much.’
‘Perhaps you would like to come and try out our dance group? All ladies. It is run by my dear friend, Clarissa. We do all sorts of dance styles; theatrical, jazz, American smooth, balletic numbers… a huge variety. You would be most welcome.’
I instantly agreed. Back then, I was a little lonely and had not met Neil.
Hazel gave me the details of the next class and arranged to pick me up. ‘There is one condition, however.’
‘Yes?’
‘You must not tell anyone we met here, at the hospice. I have not mentioned my… my condition to anyone and I do not want Clarissa finding out. Not yet.’
‘Of course, I am professional nurse who keeps confidence.’
‘Thank you, Ingrida.’
When she left, I looked at her notes and shook my head.Paldies Dievam, I recover from my terrible cancer but Hazel’s prognosis, it is very bad. I vow then to keep Hazel in my prayers every day.
Clarissa’s dance ladies, they were very friendly and soon make me feel at home. Clarissa compliment me on – how did she say it? – my lyrical balletic style. I could not go to every class as some clash with my hospital shifts, but I went whenever I could.
But I have made big decision. Tonight, I will tell my dance friends about our marriage. I know Neil, he say we must keep it quiet but I want to share my happy news. After all, we must only keep this secret from Rita and Terry.
I imagine myself saying to Clarissa,can you please change the words on the Paris programme from Reserve: Ingrida Valenko to Reserve: Ingrida Goodman. Yes, that is right. I am now a married lady; Mrs Goodman. I got married two weeks ago. It was only a very small wedding…I will not say we got cancellation at the registry office.
Clarissa and all the ladies will clap their hands with delight and rush to congratulation me.
Now it is the end of the class, and I do not feel so enthusiastic. The dancing has been full of energy but there is not the usual happy talking.
