Page 132 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz
I do not know why but I find I am close to tears, and he comes to sit down next to me and takes my hand in his. He look so sad and shake his head many times before taking deep breath.
I cannot stop myself as the words burst from my mouth, ‘Neil, you are going to tell me you do not love me?’
‘What? No. I mean, yes, of course I love you.’ He leans in to kiss me gently on the lips before saying, ‘But I should have told you, I have money problems… a lot of them. Look, there’s no easy way to say it, but my businesshas gone bankrupt.’
‘Bankrotejis?Ne.But you will be able to find new job?’
‘Maybe, I mean I owe a lot of money… the house, I didn’t keep up the insurance payments and when Maya died, well the mortgage wasn’t paid off. It started back in the pandemic when I got all those extra medical supplies to sell but I hadn’t realised much of it wasn’t up to scratch. Then I borrowed more against the house thinking I could sell the items on eventually… Anyhow, the bottom line is I have a room full of stuff upstairs that I cannot sell and we’re going to have to move out of this house in order to pay all the business debts. I can’t tell you how sorry I am… Ingrida, you’re smiling?’
‘Ja.I was worried it was serious problem not just money.’
‘Well, money problems are serious. Especially if we have to sell the house. There’s not enough equity to buy somewhere else and I don’t imagine finding a rental will be easy for a known bankrupt.’
‘Was it Kazimieras who came to the house to make threats?’
‘Who?’
‘My uncle, Kazimieras Valenko.Ne?’
‘Your uncle? What? No. Who’s he when he’s at home?’
‘He is not nice man. He say I take his money when my mama died, but it is not true and now he has track me down and he want me to give him money…’
‘He’ll have to get in line.’
‘So, if it was not Kazimieras, who did come here with threats?’
‘Bailiffs. They took the car and served an ultimatum for the balance of payment. I’m so sorry to have put you in this position, Ingrida. You wanted a home, security, and a reliable husband. I’ve completely failed you.’
‘So, these are the things you hide from me? You have no money, your business it gokapút, you have secret room full of things you cannot sell… and you did not tell me any of this because…? Why, Neil? Why did you not tell me?’
‘I didn’t want to frighten you away. I thought if you knew all this, you wouldn’t marry me. After everything you’ve been through, you need stability. I’m sorry. I’ve let you down.’
I sit back and look at Neil who has put his head in his hands.
‘How much money you owe?’
‘I hardly dare say it but it’s just over one hundred thousand pounds.’
I shake my head.
‘I know. It’s terrible. What? Why are you smiling? Ingrida, we cannot pay it…’
‘I think we can sort something out.’ I kiss him on the lips. ‘First, no more secrets,ja?I do not like secrets between us.’
‘No. No more secrets. Oh Ingrida, I don’t deserve someone as loving and gracious as you.’
I stroke the worried lines on his forehead. ‘I too have a secret but only one and it is a good secret, but we mustwait until tomorrow. For now, I want you to know I did not marry you for your money or your house or security. Nothing is secure in this life. I marry you because I grow in love with you and I love your children.’
Neil, his eyes shine like Ruby’s eyes shine when she speak of Max and my heart, it feel very full. We embrace and go up to bed without clearing up the kitchen or setting up for breakfast.
34
Fay
I have never felt so useless. My folding wheelchair is too tight a fit into the narrow entrance of my flat and Ingrida has to support me as I hop into the lounge. At least I can use the wheelchair in here and can get to the bathroom as everything is on one level but answering the door will not be easy.
‘Fay, do you have spare key so I can call tomorrow?’
