Page 18 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz
‘Young lady, if you disobey me and walk out I will never…’
Edith turned sharply. ‘What? Never speak to me again? Good. Fine by me.’
‘And by me,’ Bethan added.
‘Now look here…’
‘Dad, just tell her. We’re not in a bloody convent.’
‘It did not do me any harm.’ I had responded.
‘No? All you ever go on about is your immaculate upbringing. Oh, and your precious four P’s. We’re sick of it.’
‘There is nothing wrong with prayer, practice,punctuality and perseverance. The teachings are an important life lesson…’
‘Dad, tell her to give it a rest.’ Edith, Bethan in tow, headed for the door.
‘Andrew, are you not going to stop them?’
He just stood there, raking his hair with his hand.
The front door slammed.
Andrew turned to me, hands open in supplication. ‘Fay, you are too harsh.’
‘And you are too indulgent. This defiance will escalate if we do not give the girls a clear message that they cannot continue to act outlandishly.’
‘Can’t you go a bit easier on them, Fay?’
‘I beg your pardon? Easy? Fine. From now on, you do the parenting. You do the cooking, washing, homework duty. In fact you can do everything if you can do it so much easier. I wash my hands of them.’
It was the first – and last – time I had completely lost my temper with Andrew. The memory of him shrugging and walking away is crystal clear, even all these years on.
I blink back a tear and tighten my grip on the arms of my chair.
From that evening, Andrew did take over, in his own haphazard way. He did everything I used to do and – as a woman of my word – I stopped. I resolved not to speak to Edith and Bethan until they were prepared to apologise and reform. Why should I put up with their insolence after my years of devoted motherhood?
Determined to make my stand, I would read in my room and cook for myself when they had all eaten andleft the kitchen. Andrew completely sided with the girls and even had the audacity to suggest I alter my approach. Outrageous. It was not I who was behaving badly.
Those years were fraught with tension and unpleasant incidents. It was a relief when the girls both went to university and did not return home. I wanted nothing more than to get back to the former footing I had enjoyed with Andrew. I longed for a sense of peace and harmony to return to our house. But Andrew clearly did not share these desires.
I feel a tug on my heart, and I purse my lips in annoyance. I will not allow these memories to intrude. It was all Andrew’s fault our girls turned out badly and then he followed suit. If I never set eyes on him again it will be too soon.
I used to wonder when Edith or Bethan would get in contact with me but of late, I have started wondering if they will ever do so. I have not spoken to Bethan since Andrew and I divorced and only to Edith on two occasions.
‘You do realise, Edith, your father is the one who committed adultery,’ I had told her as I moved out of the family home.
‘If you want me to blame him, you will be sorely disappointed,’ she responded.
‘Will you stay here with him and that… that woman?’
‘Her name is Rachel and no, I am not staying here but only because I’m going to travel Europe. And before you ask about Bethan, she is backpacking around the world.’
‘How ridiculous. You are both going to waste three years of study at university on hippy trips…’
‘There you go again.’ Edith retreated behind the front door and as she shut it, said, ‘Have a nice life, Fay.’
I tear my eyes away from the photograph and force down a surge of emotion, wrenching my mind back to the present. To banish the past, I reflect on our dance practice this evening.
