Page 74 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz
I stare at the positioning of the fans; this looks more than familiar. Then an image flashes across my mind and I realise why. We had similar costumes in a show we did several years ago – tight black skirts over red and gold leotards – except our tops were not so sensual and definitely did not show our underwear. Tame in comparison to Sheila’s garb.
The dance starts and I instantly recognise the moves.
‘What the…?’
‘What is it, Monica?’
‘This number. It’s one of Clarissa’s former winning routines.’
‘No!’
‘Where’s the programme?’
Bonnie leans forward and runs her finger down the listing on the mirror.
‘Oh, my goodness. You’re right. It’s “Roxanne”. We did this, let me see… in 2019 I think.’
‘The sly, wee hallions. This is Clarissa’s dance.’ Cath slams her hand down on the dressing table.
‘Monica, is this right? Are you say to us Sheila has steal this dance from Clarissa? All of the choreography steps?’ Ingrida stares at the screen.
‘Stolen it move for move. Look.’ I stand and place myself under the screen where I dance the moves on the spot in exact time with the women out on stage.
‘I don’t believe it! They have not even attempted to disguise Clarissa’s steps.’ Asha has perked up and is on her feet, looking from the screen to me. ‘It is phrase for phrase. That woman is outrageous. I hope Clarissa is watching this. She should put in a complaint. We will rally round her.’
The routine picks up in tempo and I pull back to watch it critically. I have to admit they are dancing it well and even without being able to hear the soundtrack, the number has impact.
This’ll get a high score.
‘Watch. At the end, they’ll all swirl into a grouparound a central figure. Then they’ll each stretch out a leg to run a hand down to the toe. And right on the last phrase of “Roxanne”, they’ll all make a sudden move to open their fans and raise them high to the ceiling. If you remember, Bonnie, we had to have those stretch leotards under our skirts as the tops we were going to use kept snapping or riding up.’
‘Oh yes, I do remember. Those leotards were sparkly red and gold. I think I still have mine somewhere.’
The women do exactly as I predicted, but as they make the final dramatic reach with the fans held high to the ceiling, the bra tops of two of the dancers dramatically tear at the shoulders and drop down.
‘Oh my God.’
‘No.’
We all put our hands to our mouths as we watch the women struggle to cover their bare breasts. The large-bosomed woman is floundering as she tries to drag the top from under her sizeable wobbling chest. It’s the same dancer Sheila had berated for making a mistake in their first number – I think her name’s Bridget.
Sheila makes a dash to assist Bridget with her costume malfunction. She stands in front of the woman and leans over to help hitch up the broken top, but as she does so, her skintight skirt rips from the top of the rear split to her waistband exposing a sparkling thong framing her large white buttocks for all the audience to see.
I give an involuntary gasp. What a nightmare.
We are too shocked to say anything at first. Although I’m sure Asha muttered some remark about Ruby as sheshakes her head in disbelief.
‘Well, she’s certainly giving a holy show of herself. Gives a whole new meaning to something going arseways.’ Cath begins to snigger.
‘I don’t think that was quite the end they had planned.’ Bonnie chuckles.
Ingrida is also starting to laugh. ‘It was a very big end.Ja?’
I have to smile. ‘They certainly fleshed it out.’
‘Oh, my goodness. Look here. The programme describes the routine as a cheeky tango number.’ Asha points at the description with glee.
‘Not just cheeky but delivered with bare-faced cheek.’ Cath is now laughing heartily.
