Page 86 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz
‘Oh dear, was it my fault? I’m so sorry, Fay.’ Bonnie went to pat her open hand on my raised foot, but thankfully Ingrida caught it mid-air and stopped her.
‘Ne.’
‘Oh, my word. I’m so sorry. What was I thinking? If I had hit your foot, it would certainly have been adding upset to injury…’
‘Insult.’ I grunted out the word at exactly the same time as Monica, Asha, Ruby, Cath and even Ingrida.
Despite the circumstances, we found ourselves smiling at each other when we saw Bonnie’s consternation at the combined correction.
‘Well, that’s me told.’ Bonnie grinned good-naturedly. ‘Addinginsultto injury? Who’d have thought that was the right saying?’
A competition official motioned for Monica to go and speak to him. Within a few minutes, she was back.
‘What shall we do? The organisers want to know if we want to start again?’
‘Can we do it without Fay?’ Asha had a deep frown in her forehead.
I was grateful they at least contemplated not dancing without me even if they then decided to go ahead.
‘We can try. We could just leave a gap where Fay normally dances,’ Ruby suggested.
‘We have to go now if we are going to dance.’ Monica indicated the official tapping his watch.
‘You must dance. Go. I will be fine,’ I urged. I knew Clarissa would want them to continue, and this is, after all, Asha’s special wedding dance.
So, with a wave, the ladies disappeared through the stage door.
I heard the music start and watched them on the screen. I found myself welling up and had to exert supreme control not to give in to tears. It was more than being excluded from the performance of a dance I loved; our time together had bonded us in a way I had notexpected. I had felt an integral part of the ensemble, but not any longer. This injury has put paid to that. Of course, I wanted them to dance well, but I felt so utterly useless and suddenly quite alone.
Then a voice pulled my attention back to the green room.
‘Mum. Are you OK?’
I found myself unable to speak when I looked up at Edith. She had not addressed me thus in years and I confess, I could not find any words and my lower lip began to tremble.
‘Oh, Mum.’ Edith crouched down and put her arms around me.
I blinked back a tear and placed my arms around her, too.
We did not talk much. The first aider arrived and said I should see a doctor. Edith called the hospital and arranged for me to get an X-ray. I loved listening to her speaking in fluent French on her phone. Living in France has certainly developed her language skills. Edith then conversed with the theatre manager and found they had a wheelchair they would allow me to borrow. She explained the hospital was only a twenty-minute walk away and offered to push me, but it was clear she was due somewhere else when one of the male dancers ofCorps et Amearrived in the green room to indicate they needed to hurry away. As it happened, as soon as Ingrida came off stage, she and Asha insisted they would take me.
I did not introduce Edith to the others as my daughter, the situation seeming delicate and precariously balanced,but I was aware Asha was looking Edith up and down and about to question her. Before she could say anything, I talked deliberately loudly about requiring my insurance details and made a big show of finding the information I had saved on the notes app of my mobile. As I checked them, Edith leant in and asked for my device. When she handed it back, she whispered in my ear that she had put her telephone number in my contacts list.
‘Let me know how you get on.’
‘Thank you. I will and Edith?’
‘Yes?’
‘Bless you.’
There, I said it directly to her. After years of going to bed and saying, ‘Bless you,’ to both girls in the photograph in my flat, I have finally said it to Edith in person. Maybe one day I will say it to Bethan too.
25
Asha
‘We’re in the finals.’ Bonnie punches the air.
