Page 93 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz
‘I guess. You know, I’ve been wondering if I could start my own business too.’
‘Really? Doing what?’
‘I hardly dare tell you, but I’ve wondered if I could set up a new dating agency. Before you look at me like that, it’d be a vast improvement on Spontaneous Encounters. It’d be open and transparent. We would check ID and have a policy of complete honesty. I’ve been planning the whole thing in my head – on and off – for a year or two. Speed dating online, quiz evenings teaming up singles into couples, virtual holidays together without the pressure to meet up or have sex, that sort of thing. And definitely no creeps…’
‘Like Vince. Good. I may even join myself once I’m free and single again.’
‘Now there’s a change in tune. Is it possible the previously saintly Monica is developing a wicked side?’
‘Who knows? This could be the start of my sexual awakening.’
‘Now Iamall ears. What’s changed?’
‘I couldn’t possibly say.’ I smile to myself. I am not quite ready to share with her that I found her gift at the bottom of my wardrobe. My fury with Vince’s adultery and added resentment about our unsatisfactory sex life led me to uncover Ruby’s present…
‘What’s that smile about?’
‘Let us just say I’ve begun to realise what I’ve been missing.’
‘Monica Thornton, has this anything to do with that dishy bloke you were talking to on the Eurostar? No? Well, something has changed, and it’s not just discovering Vince is a cheating bastard. A sexual awakening sounds a step in the right direction to me.’
‘I may not go quite as over the top as you…’
‘Charming. Scarlet had a good time in her day.’ Ruby shakes her head and pauses. ‘Seriously though, can you ever forgive me?’
‘Ruby, I was completely enraged thinking you had not only slept with Vince, but had also been laughing about it behind my back. You may well look offended, but I can only say I went a bit mental; thought I couldn’t trust anyone. Guess it was paranoia; thought everyone was against me, including you. But I can see now that I got that wrong. Vince can take a hike, but I couldn’t lose you, I know that now. So, of course I forgive you. Can you forgive me?’
‘Whatever for?’
‘Telling Max.’
‘Oh, that.’ Ruby’s face falls.
‘I feel terrible…’
‘Well, it was a shitty thing to do but I guess I should’ve told him myself. I nearly did. Anyhow, turns out he was badly hurt in the past and although I don’t know the details, he hasn’t given me a chance to explain and has backed off. I’ve never seen that side of him before…’
‘I was so angry with you, Ruby. But it was wrong of me to make out you were having a full-blown affair with Vince and… well, inferring it was ongoing… What can I say? I’m so, so sorry.’
‘Jeez. No wonder Max was so pissed…’ Ruby bites her lip and stares at the floor.
We are silent for a good few minutes, then Ruby looks up and sighs.
‘Hey, my happiness has never depended on a bloke and anyway, if he’s half the man I thought he was, he’ll call back. I’ve sent a recorded message explaining the Vince thing and telling him he should’ve talked to me instead of going off on his high horse…’
‘I hope you sent it to the right number this time.’ I hold up my broken phone and grin.
‘Oh hell. That awful, recorded message. I’m dead sorry about that too.’
‘What? Sorry for calling me Practically-Perfect-In-Every-Way-But-Never-Had-An-Orgasm-Monica?’
‘Don’t.’ Ruby mimes putting her fingers in her ears as she drops her head, shaking it from side to side.
‘Anyway, it’s technically inaccurate now.’
Ruby looks up, her eyes questioning.
‘And before you ask, I’m still practically perfect.’
