Page 29 of Moonlight Feels Right
"It can't be easy getting past everything you've been through."
"It doesn't matter if it's easy or difficult. I'm a pilot. I'm a Marine. It's my life. I don't know how to do anything else. I have to get back to my job."
"I'm sure you could fly outside the Corps."
He tipped his head in acknowledgment. "I probably could, but I don't want to. I want to get back to my unit, do what I'm good at. I know it won't be the same because…" His voice drifted away as his gaze moved to Olivia. "It just won't be the same," he finished. "But life goes on."
She gave him an empathetic nod. "Yes, it does. And staying in the present is the best thing you can do. Today has been a good day."
"It has been good," he agreed.
"Thanks for pushing me to get in the water, Hunter. Liam has been trying for weeks, but I've always refused."
"Why did you say yes to me?"
"I guess I didn't want to look like a coward."
"I wouldn't have thought you were a coward even if you said no. Fears are fears, and I respect them."
"I have too many fears, too much anxiety, but I'm working on it. Staying in the present helps me with that, but my aunt is pulling me back into the past."
"Are you worried about your meeting tomorrow?"
"I'm trying not to think about it." She paused as two servers delivered their meals. "And this is perfect timing."
He was happy to eat but not as happy for their conversation to end. He'd been so isolated the last seven months, he'd almost forgotten what it was like to talk to someone besides his physical therapist or his doctor. And Emmalyn was an interesting woman. She was smart and thoughtful, and she spoke with a candor he found charming. She also seemed to understand and appreciate the complexities of his life over last several months, which had made it easier to share his thoughts with her than anyone else. She could listen without making suggestions or judgments, which was something the very few other people he'd spoken to had been able to do, but that was probably because they were all military men: his father, his brother, one of his team members. They'd looked at his situation from the perspective of how fast he could get back.
Pushing that thought aside, he encouraged Olivia to stop coloring and start eating. Of course, she couldn't do anything without talking, and as they ate, Olivia asked them random questions about things he had no answer for, like why the ocean was salty, if the fish slept at night, and where the sun went when the moon came out. He tried to come up with answers, but he was often stumped. Thank goodness, Emmalyn was there. She either answered the question or turned it around so that Olivia had to think of an answer herself. She must be a hell of a teacher, he thought, and he wasn't surprised the kids loved her. What was there not to love?
Em was a sweetheart, someone who truly did have a heart of gold, and he hated to think about what she'd gone through in her life. He couldn't imagine how her mother could have let her go when she was twelve years old. It seemed insane. But then, he also had trouble understanding why Bree had dropped Olivia off with him, a man Olivia had only met a few times in her life. He hadn't even had much contact with Bree the last few years. When Gary had gone on leave, he'd gone home and Hunter had gone elsewhere, because he didn't have a home to go to.
He'd always thought it was easier not to have anyone waiting at home for him. He'd seen the guys in his unit worry about their loved ones, stressed about not being around for important personal events: birthdays, weddings, and graduations. Not that anyone had been unwilling to serve to the best of their ability, but it had put a burden on them he didn't have. The flip side was that they had spouses who cared about them, kids who welcomed them home, and lives that existed outside the military.
He would have never had a day like this, playing in the ocean with a six-year-old, teaching Emmalyn how to body surf, or having lunch with what felt like a family if he was still living his former life. It was a strange feeling, both good and bad. This wasn't a life he'd ever thought he wanted, but it wasn't really his life now, he reminded himself. They were just taking care of Olivia until Bree got back. The three of them weren't an actual family, but he had to admit this picture, this moment was more enjoyable than he would have imagined.
As Emmalyn laughed at something Olivia said, her whole face lit up, and he found himself fascinated by her sparkling eyes, her pretty features…especially her soft parted lips. His chest tightened as the urge to lean across the table and kiss that sweet mouth was suddenly overwhelming. But he couldn't do that. This wasn’t a date, and they weren't alone. He couldn't confuse everyone, including himself.
Emmalyn gave him a questioning look. "Everything okay, Hunter?"
"Fine," he muttered as he averted his gaze, then picked up his glass of water and took a long sip.
"Can I be done?" Olivia asked.
He glanced at her plate. She'd eaten half her kids' burger, all of her fruit, and some of her carrots. He had no idea how much she was supposed to eat, but he'd always hated it when his father had insisted he clean his plate, so he said, "Sure." Then he turned to Emmalyn. "Do you want anything else?"
She smiled as she finished her milkshake. "Nope, I'm stuffed. I can't remember the last time I had a milkshake. It was so good."
"I can't remember the last time, either. I don't eat a lot of sweets."
"Do you eat much at all?" she asked dryly. "I've seen your refrigerator and your cupboards."
"Haven't had much of an appetite until very recently, like yesterday," he said with a grin, feeling like he also hadn't had much of an appetite for smiling until recently, either.
When the check came, he pulled out his wallet, waving away Emmalyn's request to split the bill. "You've been helping me a lot," he said pointedly. "This is on me."
"Well, thank you, but next time, I pick it up. I mean, if there is a next time," she added hastily as if she were getting ahead of herself.
"Deal." He definitely wanted a next time. Although, he shouldn't want that at all because he was heading back to a life that could take him away from Oceanside, and the last thing he needed was to get involved with anyone.
