Page 70 of Moonlight Feels Right
She shook her head. "No, we can't. I can't." She gave him a helpless shrug. "It's going to be hard enough to say goodbye now, and it would be even worse if we get closer. So, let's just stop with this one beautiful night together."
He didn't want to stop with one night. He didn’t want to contemplate never being with her again, but it wasn't fair to ask her for more when he had so little to give back to her.
"So I was thinking today, I'll check in with the other residents and see who might have extra furniture for Bree," she said, changing the subject.
He didn't want to talk about furniture or Bree, but he could see the determination in her eyes to act like they were just friends again. "You don't have to do that."
"I want to."
"Okay." He picked up the coffee mug and took a sip, searching for something to say that wouldn't make things worse. But what could he say? That he'd never felt this way before, and it scared the hell out of him? That wouldn't get him anywhere, because ultimately it wasn't his choice to go or to stay. If he wanted his career back, he would go where the Corps needed him to go. That was his life.
"Can you find out what Bree really needs? I'm not sure she would tell me directly, then I can focus on those specific things?"
"I can talk to her," he said.
"Great. Do you want something to eat?" she asked. "I could make breakfast before you go."
The problem was that he didn't want to go. He met her gaze. "I don’t want it to be like this with you, Em. It suddenly feels awkward and tense."
"I'm sorry. I did have fun last night. I hope you know that."
"It's just over," he finished on a harsh note.
"It has to be."
"It doesn't have to be now."
"It does for me." She gave him a somewhat sad smile. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll see you later, and I'll try not to be awkward. I don't want that, either. We'll just be friends again. Okay?"
"Sure," he said. "Friends." But as she left to take a shower, he knew there was no way that would work.
Friends with Hunter? Who was she kidding?
Emmalyn scrubbed her scalp hard as she washed her hair and cursed herself for telling Hunter one night was enough and that was the end of it. She didn't want to be his friend; she wanted to be his lover. She wanted to spend every minute of every day and every night with him until the Marine Corps forced them apart. But her fear and panic had pushed stupid words out of her mouth and now she couldn't go against her terribly bad plan because she'd made such a big point about ending their short-lived fling immediately.
Although, she could definitely persuade him otherwise. It wasn't like he wanted it that way.
But it was smarter to end things now. She was already emotionally involved. Getting closer to him would only make saying goodbye harder. It was just sad to think she'd finally met someone with whom she had great physical chemistry as well as a truly remarkable emotional connection, someone she had trusted with her most personal story, someone she could count on—at least, until he had to leave.
And he would leave, no matter how much he might want to stay with her. Hunter's dream was to return to his unit, to his life. He'd worked hard to rehabilitate and recover. Passing his tests and being cleared to fly again and return to active duty was what he wanted the most, and she couldn't wish failure on him just so he could stay with her. She cared about him too much to not want him to succeed.
She just needed to deal with the situation as best she could. Since she'd already taken a stand, she had to stick to it.
Or maybe she could change her mind…
She sighed at her turbulent thoughts, knowing she would have to take things one day at a time. She certainly wasn't going to solve anything in the shower. She rinsed her hair, then dried off and got dressed. By the time she returned to the living room, Hunter was long gone, and her apartment felt emptier than it ever had.
She couldn't sit around and feel sorry for herself. She'd learned a long time ago that the best remedy for depression was to do something for someone else. She'd promised Hunter she'd look into getting Bree some furniture, and that's what she was going to do.
She made several calls. Unfortunately, neither Kaia nor Ava answered. But Paige picked up the phone with a cheerful, "Hello."
"It's Emmalyn," she said.
"How's it going?" Paige asked.
"Good. As I mentioned last night, Bree and Olivia need furniture. Do you have anything you're looking to get rid of?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. Henry's grandfather insisted on buying him a new desk for his room. I was just going to give the old one away, but Olivia can have it if she wants."
