Page 78 of Moonlight Feels Right
"So, when you went into the service, you knew you wanted to be a pilot?"
"I did. I had already gotten my pilot's license when I was seventeen, so by the time I joined the Corps, I already had experience in that area, which made me a good candidate for flight school."
"Why helicopters and not planes?"
"Because helicopters don't just fly; they dance," he said with a sparkle in his eyes.
"What does that mean?"
"The helicopter demands all your attention. It's hands-on flying, and it can do so many things that a plane cannot—take off vertically, hover in midair, slide sideways, spin in place. And you can land on a rooftop, in a valley, on a ship. You can get in and out of a rough situation very quickly."
"You really love it, don't you?" she said, seeing the truth in his eyes.
"Flying has always been my escape from the world down here."
"It seems like the world up there might be stressful at times."
"It can be," he admitted. "But when I'm on a mission, I have a bigger purpose. I'm doing something important, something that matters. I'm protecting the world below. I can't imagine not doing that anymore."
"Do you really have doubts, Hunter? You seem like you're fully recovered."
He didn't answer right away, then said, "My physical condition is up to par, but there will be more challenging combat-ready fitness tests to pass next week. And the psych evaluation will be important."
"You don't seem nearly as psycho as you used to," she said lightly.
He gave her a wry smile. "Thanks. I don't believe I have any lingering trauma from what happened, not anymore. The first month or two, I was afraid to close my eyes. I had nightmares every night. I relived that crash a thousand times. I couldn't get Gary's face out of my head." He paused. "The last nightmare I had was right before Olivia arrived, and I haven't had one since. I think talking to her about Gary made me think about him in other moments, good moments, not the worst day of his life, but the better days—for both of us."
"That's good."
"It is, but I don't know if anything will come into my head when I get back behind the controls, when I'm in a position to relive my last mission. I guess I'll find out."
"Did Gary also love to fly?"
"So much. He grew up in Oklahoma. His grandfather was a crop duster. Gary was flying from the time he was ten."
"You two must have been quite the pair."
"We were night and day in looks and personality. I was more serious, more rigid, more of a rule follower. Gary was easygoing, fun, and sometimes he was okay with good while I constantly strived for perfection. Not that he was ever bad at his job. He took that seriously. But I always felt like I had to do more."
"You put a lot of stress on yourself, don't you, Hunter?"
"I think you do, too," he said with a smile. "I saw you biting back a lot of words when you were listening to your mother defend herself."
"It's better for me to keep the stress now than put it on her. What would be the point? You heard her, Hunter. She just leans into the idea that she's a weak person and that makes her lack of action okay. I'm so tired of hearing her whine about being a coward. At some point, I want to say, 'Snap out of it. If you don't want to be a coward, don't be one.' But I can't do that, because…she is weak and sad." She gave a helpless shrug. "She's never going to change. I just have to accept her for who she is. It's just not easy."
"I know. That narrative is probably the only one she could live with. You know what life was like at that place; I don't. But from what you've told me, the conditions were harsh, and the women and children worked hard. She probably regretted taking you there and then regretted not leaving with you, so she had to find a way to live with those actions. I don't think she's just weak; I think she was damaged. Maybe she felt abandoned by her parents, by your biological father. You've never mentioned who that is."
"I don't know who he is. My mom said she was a party girl and a couple of guys could have been my dad, but she didn't really know any of them, so she didn't say anything. That part I've made peace with. I can tell myself my dad never knew about me, so he didn't abandon me. He just didn't know I existed." She paused. "I guess we all tell ourselves a story that we can live with. And I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to get into all this again."
"No problem. I'm happy to listen."
"The sun is about to go down," she said, waving her hand toward the kaleidoscope of colors on the horizon.
"Another day in the books," he murmured, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Glad I got to share it with my friend."
She met his smile. "It turned out to be a good day. The batting cage was a great call. I felt more relaxed after I hit some balls."
"What are friends for?"
