Page 91 of Moonlight Feels Right
She'd tried to put distance between them and cool things off but not seeing him was worse than seeing him. So, did she go all in and see him for as long as she could and not worry about the heartbreak that was coming? Or did she end it now, cut her losses, and convince herself it would only be worse if they kept getting together?
Or was there another option?
As she got into her car, she received a text from Hunter that his meeting with the review board had been delayed until four. She sighed, feeling bad there was still no news. The waiting had to be even worse for Hunter. His original meeting had been scheduled for two.
She sent him a text wishing him luck.
With time to kill, she decided to stop by her aunt's place and see her mom before going home. Maybe they could take her mind off Hunter for a while.
When she arrived, she found them baking in the kitchen. The sight of them smiling and laughing in a flurry of flour, with smells of chocolate and vanilla radiating through the house, brought back memories from a lifetime ago. She'd never thought she had any memories from before the cult, but this felt very familiar.
"What is going on?" she asked.
"We're making cookies to drop off at a women's shelter where Linda volunteers," her mom replied. "I haven't made cookies in years."
She knew that because sugar and desserts had been frowned upon at Haven. "They smell good."
"First batch is almost ready," Linda said, peering through the oven window. "These are chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, your grandmother's recipe."
She smiled to herself, thinking those were her favorite cookies to make, the ones she'd made the day she'd met Olivia and invited Hunter into her apartment. She hadn't even realized that it was her early childhood love of those cookies that had led her to make them over the years. Her subconscious had clung to some happy feelings from the first five years of her life.
"Those are my favorite," she said, sliding onto a stool at the kitchen counter. "You two look…happy."
Her mother and aunt looked at each other and smiled.
"We are," her mom said. "What about you?"
"Yes, you don't look quite as happy as we feel," her aunt added as they both gave her speculative looks.
"I'm just tired. Long week."
"It's Hunter, isn't it?" Linda asked.
"Don't pry," her mom admonished her sister.
"It's the only way to find out anything," Linda countered. "So…"
She sighed. "Hunter has his final meeting with the review board today, and it got pushed back. The waiting is driving me crazy. I'm sure it's making him crazy, too. The board will decide his future, and whatever they decide will change the course of his life in one direction or another. I want him to pass. I want him to get what he wants, but I think if he does, that's the end of whatever has been happening with us."
"Why does it have to be the end?" her mother asked. "You could go with him."
Her aunt frowned. "Maybe she doesn't want to change her whole life for a man."
Her mom didn't look pleased with the pointed reference. "It's not the same as what I did, Linda. Emmalyn can still have her life, be a teacher, do everything she wants to do, and stay close to Hunter." She paused. "If that's what you want."
"I do want to see where things could go," she admitted. "But the idea of giving up the life I've built here for the unknown, for a man who might be deployed for six months or more—that's scary."
"I wouldn't do it," Linda said. "But then, my track record with men is obviously not that good." She took the cookies out of the oven and placed the cookie sheet on the counter to cool. "After seeing your mom give up everything, I went the opposite direction. I had a list in my head about what I was willing to do for love, and it wasn't very long. I probably missed out on some good relationships because of my rigidity, my unwillingness to put my trust in someone else, to put everything on the line for love." Linda paused. "You shouldn't follow either of us, Emmalyn. What we did, the way we thought, is how we ended up here together making cookies, not a man in sight."
"That's true," her mother said with an agreeable smile. "We are not good examples of women who have figured out a way to have a healthy, loving relationship and a true partner. I was so desperate for love; I was willing to do anything to get it. And I gave up more than twenty years of my life being brainwashed into thinking I was getting what I deserved, that the life I had was the only one I was worthy of. But being in the outside world again has given me perspective, reminded me of who I was a long, long time ago."
"So, what are you going to do?" her aunt asked. "Because you're not your mother, and you're not me. You get to make your own choices, Emmalyn. And knowing how smart and thoughtful you are, I'm sure you'll make the right one."
She wasn't at all sure about that. Her mind raced with conflicting thoughts. Finally, she said, "I'm going to have a cookie and think about it."
The review board finally convened in a conference room at four thirty, five officers seated at a long table: four men and one woman. Their faces were professionally neutral as Hunter took his seat at the table facing them. He knew none of the officers, but there was a name placard in front of each of them, and the officer in charge appeared to be Colonel Reed, a stern-looking gray-haired man in his fifties.
"Captain Kane," Reed began, "thank you for your patience. This board has been convened to review your fitness to return to active flight duty. We've reviewed your medical records, physical evaluation results, psychological assessment, simulator performance, and flight test data. Today, we'd like to ask you a few follow-up questions before making our final determination."
