Page 93 of Moonlight Feels Right
"About…"
She hesitated, then said, "How would you feel about me moving to North Carolina, spending whatever time we might have together before you get deployed?"
His brows shot up in surprise. "Seriously, Em? You would move for me?"
"Maybe I'm being too presumptuous. Maybe you wouldn't even want me there. But I just hate the idea of ending whatever this is."
"You'd be giving up your life. Your job. Your friends." He shook his head in amazement. "How could you do that? Why would you do that?"
It was a good question, one that had been rolling around in her head for the last several days. "I've never felt this way before, Hunter. It's probably way too fast to say this, but I'm falling in love with you. I can't imagine not seeing you again, not being with you."
"It's a huge move, Em."
"I know, and I'm scared about it," she admitted. "You know my past. That roots and friends are important to me. That I would never want to act like my mother did and throw my whole life away for a man. But this isn't the same thing. In fact, she told me it wasn't even close to the same thing. You're not in a cult. You're not asking me to give up anything. And I can come and go as I please. If I don't like it, if we don't work out, I can leave."
"You talked to your mom about this?" he asked in surprise.
"Not exactly. She offered up some unsolicited advice when I told her you might be leaving."
"What else did she say?"
"That she wasn't someone whose advice I should take."
He smiled at that. "Well, it sounds like she was trying to help you."
"She was, but I don't need her help. I can make my own decisions." She took a breath. "What do you think, Hunter? Have I overstepped? Is this all too much too soon?"
He shook his head. "It's not too much too soon. But I don't want you to give up your life for me."
"I'd prefer to think of it as changing my life to incorporate someone I care very much about."
"I care about you, too, Em. Too much to see you sacrifice your life for me."
"What's the alternative? I can't imagine long distance working."
He shook his head. "I can't either. Plus, I don't want to spend time away from you. If we're going to do this, I want to do it right, Em. Which is why…I'm going to resign my commission."
Now she was the one who was shocked. "What? Can you even do that?"
"Yes, I can."
"But you worked so hard to get cleared for duty. It's all you've wanted. You told me how much your career means to you." She couldn't believe he would give up his career for her.
"It used to mean everything. It doesn’t anymore, and I didn't truly realize that until I was cleared. Maybe I just needed to get over all those hurdles, to know that I could do it again if I wanted to, in order to realize that my dreams have changed. I don't want a career that prevents me from having love, from having a family, from having you."
"I just said I'll move. We'll be together. You can keep serving."
"I don't want to live a part-time life with you. I don't want to worry about you when I'm gone or have you worrying about me not coming back to you. I grew up watching my parents wrestle with their relationship and my dad's career. I saw Gary in agony because he couldn't be there when Olivia was born. I saw Bree destroyed after Gary's death. I always avoided relationships because I didn't want to juggle love and service. I still don't."
"But being in the military is who you are."
"It's what I do—it's what I did," he corrected. "I still want to fly, but I don't have to do that for the Corps."
"Would that really be enough for you?" she asked doubtfully.
"Yes. Until today, I hadn't flown in seven months. I hadn't served in seven months. And the life I found here, especially in the last two weeks, is the one I want to live." He smiled. "As long as you don't try to put me back in the friend zone."
"That never really worked anyway."
