Page 115 of Bagging the Blueliner
While I had sat for hours, losing my mind, fearing the worst, he’d been blaming me.
God, I was such a fool. I knew he was a player, but I let myself get sucked in by our easy banter. I believed that what we shared was real—that Cal viewed me as a true partner, a valuable asset to his life.
I was merely convenient to him. Living in the same building meant sex on demand instead of putting in the work trolling the clubs every night. My position requiring me to travel with the team played into that. I was the devil he knew, and he was more than happy to use me to satisfy his physical needs.
It was nothing more than sex to him. I could see that clearly now.
His career came first. Chasing championships and cementing his legacy were all that mattered to Cal.
I’d let my childish need to disobey my father cloud my judgment, and now I paid the ultimate price.
Shuffling into the waiting room, Jaxon jumped to his feet. I was so embarrassed about the way I’d clung to him as I lost my shit. In that moment, I had acted on pure instinct, and Jaxon happened to be the one there when I fell apart.
He hadn’t left my side for more than a few minutes at a time since my breakdown. Passing me off to Natalie so he could change out of his gear, he then drove me to the hospital. He was exhausted from the game, but his worry for his best friend had overruled seeing to his own needs.
Jaxon held my hand while we waited for news of Cal’s condition. He’d been the one who advocated for me when the medical staff wanted to sedate me because I couldn’t calm down. He’d patiently taken care of me when I was scared out of my mind that the man I thought I loved would never wake up.
Scanning my face, his eyes widened when he saw the devastation written there. Grasping my hand, he asked cautiously, with panic lacing his tone, “Is he—?”
Forcing my eyes shut, two tears still managed to slip past the tight barrier. Shaking my head, I whispered, “No, he’s fine.”
“Thank God,” Jaxon breathed out, hugging me.
Shakily, I forced out, “He said it was all my fault.”
Pulling back, Jaxon stared at me in disbelief. “What?”
Biting my lip to keep the sobs from rising up again, I nodded, confirming my statement. Guiding me to a chair, Jaxon eased me down.
“I don’t understand. How could any of this be your fault?” Jaxon asked.
Of course, he couldn’t understand. Jaxon wasn’t built the same way as Cal. He’d loved my best friend from afar his entire adult life and made her believe that happy endings were real. He would never destroy someone he cared about. But then again, I now knew that Cal never truly cared about me. He’d been using me.
Clearing my throat, scratchy from crying all night, I replied, “He said he was too busy thinking about me. That he wasn’t paying attention. I was a distraction that almost got him killed.”
Wide-eyed, Jaxon shook his head. “No. He didn’t mean that. I’m sure the hit and being knocked unconscious scared the hell out of him.”
“He told me it was over between us. That it was a huge mistake.”
The look of pity on Jaxon’s face was almost enough to break me. “Oh, Hannah.” He pulled me in for another hug.
“I just wanna go home.” My words were muffled against his shoulder.
Pulling back, he searched my eyes. “Why don’t I bring you home with me?”
I shook my head. “It’s the middle of the night. Natalie and your kids are asleep. Besides, I really want to be alone right now.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he protested. “You’re family, Hannah. The guest room is all yours tonight. Please.”
“I can’t.”
“What about your parents’ house?” Jaxon offered.
Bowing my head in shame, I groaned, “That’s the last place I can show up right now. I don’t need to have my dad tell me ‘I told you so’ tonight.” Sighing, I whispered, “He’s going to be so disappointed in me.”
Jaxon squeezed my hand. “He loves you.”
“I don’t make it easy,” I scoffed.
