Page 80 of Bagging the Blueliner
“It was worth the effort, though,” I mused.
Jaxon smiled, thinking of his wife. “I would fight for her all over again in a heartbeat.” Surveying my face, he asked, “Is Hannah your endgame?”
Oh shit. This was getting deep. “Hard to say.”
“No, it’s simple. She either is, or she isn’t.”
This was all too much. I only realized yesterday that I was in love with her.
Sighing, I admitted, “I haven’t let myself think about a future with her. I’m not sure I’ll be allowed to have one. When Coach finds out . . .”
Jaxon’s phone beeped, and he pulled it out of his pocket to check the message. I instantly perked up. Was it Natalie giving him info? Did he hold the valuable information that I so desperately needed?
“Liam said he got caught up on an errand. He’ll meet us back on the boat.”
Of course. It had been foolish to get my hopes up. What was it Hannah mentioned about the flow of information in this group? Something about circles? Whatever it was, Jaxon and I wouldn’t be the first to know.
“Coach is going to kill me,” I whispered.
Jaxon gave me a sympathetic look. “He might be overprotective, but he loves her.”
“Overprotective is an understatement. Amelia is almost thirteen. Would you tell her who she can date?”
The mention of his oldest daughter brought a soft smile to his lips. “No. Even if she and Nat weren’t completely triggered by being controlled, that would still be my answer. She should getto live her life. Make her own mistakes. But I can tell you one thing—I will always be there to catch her when she falls.”
“See! That’s what a father should do. An all-out ban is excessive or, as you pointed out, controlling. How is this my fault?”
“You made a conscious decision knowing it was the only unbreakable rule Coach laid out. What did you think was going to happen? Secrets always have a way of coming out.”
I laughed humorlessly. “Do you know my last thought before I let her push me past the breaking point?”
“What?”
“That if I had to, I would retire. I had a good run. I wanted Hannah so badly I was willing to give it all up.”
Jaxon smirked. “Then I think you have your answer on whether or not she is your endgame. Go talk to her. Maybe the sky isn’t falling, and it was a false alarm. It’s been known to happen. Nat has a panic attack every time she’s a day late. It’s always nothing. I’m sure it’s fine.”
“Did you ever think we’d be sitting here talking about babies and periods?”
“Not in a million years.” He chuckled. “My, how times have changed.”
As much as I hated to admit it, Jaxon was right. The only way I would stop freaking out was if I got the truth from Hannah.
Back on the yacht, I sat on our bed with my head in my hands as every possible scenario ran through my mind. Instead of calming down, I’d somehow managed to rachet up my panic. I was barely hanging on by a thread when I heard the door to the cabin open, and Hannah sighed in relief as she closed it.
“You’re back.” She sounded exhausted.
“Uh-huh.” I didn’t lift my head.
“Are you okay?” Her hand touched my shoulder, and I was wound so tight I jumped at the contact.
Embarrassed by my reaction, I forced myself to look up at her face. The hurt in her blue eyes mirrored my own at discovering her secret. Why hadn’t she come to me first? We were in this together. No matter what.
“No. I’m not okay.”
Hannah gave me a knowing smile. “What? Drink too much?”
The thread I was hanging on by snapped, and I lost my temper. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I stood, towering over her. “Is that all you see when you look at me? A party boy who gets drunk in the middle of the day?”
