Page 40 of Coming Home Country
“A little,” I confessed.
Tuck’s brow wrinkled. “You taking your meds on schedule?”
I bristled, ready to lash out and declare that I could take care of myself, but the voice of reason at the back of my mind warned that he was only acting out of concern as the treating physician.
The fight went right out of me at the thought, and anger turned to sadness. That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? To have clear lines drawn? To separate the past from the present? If that were true, then why did my stomach hurt at the idea that he might be pulling away?
“Bex?” Tucker shoved off the ground, stalking closer slowly as if I were a horse about to spook. “Are you in pain?”
Heart twisting, I managed to rasp out, “Yes.”
Pure anguish filled his eyes, and he reached for me. Every cell screamed for me to go to him, to bury my face in his chest, to let his strong arms surround me, but I held myself back.
When I didn’t close the distance between us, a heavy sigh sounded, and his hand fell to his side.
“Tell me how I can make it better,” he begged.
My eyes slammed shut, and I hugged my waist as a wave of sorrow crashed over me, threatening to knock me to my knees. In another lifetime, Tucker had been the only person on this earth who could offer me the comfort I needed in a moment like this. Now, he was the source of my suffering.
The teenage version of me was a fool to think that running from Rust Canyon was the solution to all my problems. Because Tucker had left a mark on my soul that would never fade, no matter where I went or how much space I tried to put between us.
What if the man who broke your heart is the only one who can put it back together?
A gasp worked its way up my throat when the truth of that thought hit home.
“What?” Tuck’s panicked whisper reached my ears. His voice grew hoarse. “Please, Bex. You’re killing me.”
I dared to raise my eyelids to peek at him, and my heart leapt into my throat when I realized he was standing right before me, his hand hovering an inch away from my cheek.
Longing built in my chest until it became difficult to breathe. And before I could think better of it, my face turned enough that his palm grazed my skin. That was all it took to spark action, and his second hand came up to join the first. Thumbs reverently caressed over my cheekbones, spreading moisture, and that’s when I realized I was crying.
Whether those tears were mourning the past or washing it away, I couldn’t be sure. All I knew was that Tucker’s touch calmed the storm inside me, and for the first time in a decade, I felt at peace.
The craving for more came over me suddenly, so on instinct, my arms wrapped around his waist, and I pulled him closer. A relieved rush of air burst from his mouth as his gentle hands slid from my face to cradle the back of my head, tucking it into the crook of his shoulder.
“I’ve got you.”
Three simple words. That’s all it took to unlock a piece of my heart I’d kept guarded for ten long years. The piece that held my trust, which I hadn’t given to any other man. Only this one.
“Tucker.” His name came out broken between quiet sobs that rattled my chest.
“I’m so sorry, baby. You have no idea.”
For my entire adult life, I’d wanted to hate him but never could. It was as if my heart knew something I didn’t. That Tucker wasn’t the bad guy inour story, that he still loved me. We were just unlucky that life—or rather, some heartless bitch—had ripped us apart.
His hands offered silent comfort, stroking over my hair, running down the length of my back until my cries turned to hiccups. Swallowing hard, I asked a question I was almost afraid to hear the answer to. “What do we do now?”
With our bodies pressed flush, the vibration of his hum tickled my chest.
“Right now? All I want is to hold you. Is that okay?”
“Pretty sure you’re already doing that,” I teased on a watery laugh.
He clutched me tighter. “Will you sit with me? I know it’s chilly out, but we can use my sleeping bag as a blanket to stay warm. Or I can stoke the fire back to life. I don’t care which. I just don’t want to let you go.”
With my face pressed to his chest, I could hear his heart racing, betraying that he was scared I would turn him down.
For all I knew, this might be my last chance to spend the night in Tucker’s arms. The real world would come crashing in to burst our bubble soon enough, and I wanted to pretend, even if only for a few hours, that I could ever be his again.
