Page 16 of Crashing the Altar
“Oh, right. Whatever they have in stock that will fit Aspen is fine.”
My entire life revolved around Sullivan Ranch, and with my best friend being a man—who’d up and skipped town after learning of my engagement—my options for bridal attendants were severely limited. Aspen made sense as my matron of honor as we’d grown up together, even if I was closer with her brother. With the tight timeline, we’d decided to keep things intimate, so I’d asked Aspen’s best friend, Bex, to serve as the second bridesmaid and called it a day.
Mama hummed, standing to sift through the racks of maternity dresses. “It’s a good thing you’re getting married so quickly, or else something that fits her today wouldn’t still fit in two weeks. Even then, it might be a squeeze. I swear that girl went from a flat stomach to a big belly overnight.”
While her back was turned, my hand ghosted over my lower abdomen. I wanted children so badly it made my chest ache. Sadly, the man whose ring was on my finger, the man who was willing to give me the family I craved, wasn’t the same one I grew up picturing as the father of the future babies.
You need to let this ridiculous childhood dream of riding off into the sunset with your best friend go. You blew your chance with Tripp years ago when you told him how you felt and then retracted it like a coward.
“I don’t see anything in peach. Blush might be the closest we get.”
“That’s fine,” I muttered distractedly. The details didn’t matter. I just wanted to get this over with.
“Okay, that’s settled, then. We have the girls’ measurements and can have Trisha alter them to fit.” She conferred with the saleswoman who had been assisting us since our arrival, and they arranged for those two dresses, along with the one I’d chosen for myself, to be delivered to Rust Canyon.
Pulling her purse onto her shoulder, Mama ushered me toward the door. “We better hustle our butts over to the bakery for the cake tasting before Jake starts to worry that you’ve gotten cold feet.”
Though her words were said with a teasing lilt, they hit a little too close to home.
Once we said “I do,” my life with Jake would be a done deal, so a part of me was searching for an excuse to call it off before we reached the point of no return.
If you’re looking for an out, shouldn’t that be enough to tell you this is a terrible idea?
Of course it’s a terrible idea! I’m settling because the only man I do want isn’t exactly an option.
But he could be. Everyone keeps whispering that he’s harboring the same crush as you.
What if they’re wrong?
What if they’re right? If there’s even the slightest chance you could have everything you’ve ever wanted, you need to tell him how you feel. Sober, this time.
It’s too risky. I can’t lose him.
You’re marrying another man. You’re going to lose him anyway.
“There’s my girl.” Jake’s voice pulled me out of my internal argument.
Plastering on a bright smile, I walked into his waiting arms, outside the bakery famous for its country-chic wedding cakes.
Mindful that my mama was present, he dusted a barely there kiss over my lips. “Find a dress?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Trying on gowns was a blur—literally. My vision had been distorted by tears I refused to let fall. Mama and the saleswoman had both assumed my emotional response was born from excitement and joy at the prospect of getting married, but in reality, grief overwhelmed me as I mourned the death of my dreams for the future.
“Can’t wait to see you in it, walking down that aisle toward me.” Jake gave my hip a squeeze.
“She’s gonna steal your breath away,” Mama chimed in from behind me.
Jake’s gaze shifted over my shoulder, and he offered my mother an easy smile. “Your daughter does that every single time I see her, Caroline.”
There was a swoony sigh in response, followed by, “Oh, young love.”
There was no denying the guy was totally into me. Which made me feel even more guilty for not having an available heart to give him.
I tilted my head toward the pane glass window of the bakery. “So, cake?”
My fiancé released his hold on me to rub his hands together. “Yes, cake. I skipped lunch to make sure I had enough room to tryallthe flavors.”
