Page 144 of Before You Can Blink
He shifted uncomfortably. “I would strongly advise against it.”
“Advise all you want, but if I’m going out, it’s going to be on my own terms. In the house that I built for my family with my own two hands, surrounded by the people I love.”
“Jett,” Daisy whimpered my name, squeezing my hand so tight I swore she was about to cut off circulation.
The doctor softened. “Of course. Then, might I suggest hiring a home health nurse? Someone who can help manage your end-of-life care, so Daisy is free to be fully present with you in your final days.”
“Sure.” If it took the burden off Daisy, agreeing was a no-brainer.
“All right. I’ll make a few calls and get to work on your discharge.”
“Thank you.” I extended my free hand to shake his.
Sliding his palm against mine, he smiled sadly. “Wish I could’ve done more.”
“You did all you could. Gave me extra years I wouldn’t have had with my loved ones otherwise, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.”
There wasn’t anything left to say, so he left the room without another word.
Patting the mattress, I turned to my wife and commanded, “Might as well climb on up here.”
She hesitated for only half a second before obeying, curling into my side, her head coming to rest atop my chest.
“I’m not ready to let you go,” she said so softly, I almost didn’t hear her.
“I know.” I stroked down the length of her hair. “But we’ve known this was coming for a while, and it’s finally here.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Hell,Idon’t like it, Daze, but I’ll be damned if I waste any of the time I have left wishing things could be different. Instead, I want to spend every minute I can with you and the kids, and all those grandbabies that are almost grown themselves. I want to soak up every bit of their love—your love—so I can take it with me when I pass on to the other side.”
The warmth of her tears soaked through the fabric of my hospital gown, and she sniffled. “How do you cram a lifetime of love into only a few weeks?”
“You don’t. We can’t go back, only forward.” I tipped her chin up so I could look into her pretty blue eyes when I confessed, “I’ve been on a lot of crazy rides in my life, but the one I got to experience with you? That was the best one.”
Lower lip trembling as twin tears streaked down her face, she whispered, “I love you, Jett.”
Giving her the softest kiss, I murmured against her soft skin, “Love you more than this life and the next, Daze.”
And I meant it. Even when the hourglass ran out of sand, signaling the end of my time here on earth, I would never stop loving her.
April
I could hear the call of death. It got louder with each passing day.
I didn’t have much longer.
As much as it pained me to do so, I explained to Daisy that I could feel myself fading, and it was time for me to say my final goodbyes.
Most days, it was a revolving door of visitors, with my family taking turns checking in on me, but today would be different.
Propped up on a pile of pillows in bed, I heard footsteps on the stairs and wondered which of my loved ones would get the first of my farewells.
The smile that split my face couldn’t be contained when Paisley rounded the corner and entered the room.
“Hey, princess.”
My beautiful, blonde granddaughter tried so hard to be brave but lost the fight against the sob that rolled up from her chest.
