Page 58 of Before You Can Blink
My body went numb.
“It was quick. He didn’t suffer.”
That knowledge offered little comfort. Not when the truth that it just as easily could’ve been me—leaving Aspen fatherless and making it so that the baby in Daisy’s belly never existed—hit with enough force to knock me on my ass.
It was simply too much to bear.
Turning on my heel, I marched off, deaf to my wife calling out behind me.
I needed to be alone.
Hours later, Daisy found me drunk off my ass, collapsed against the side of the barn. She dropped to her knees in the grass beside me, guiding my head to rest atop the shelf created by her soft breasts.
I groaned. “Go home, Daze.”
“I’m not going anywhere while you’re hurting.” Fingers carved a soothing path through my hair.
“Aspen needs you,” I argued.
“She’s with your mom tonight, and I’m right where I need to be,” she countered.
With my rock’s arms wrapped around me, I finally let emotion overtake me. For the first time in as far back as I could remember, I felt the hot sting of tears burning behind my eyes and didn’t do a damn thing to stop them from falling.
Daisy only held me tighter, whispering words of comfort that were drowned out by my sobs, my heart feeling like it was being torn in two with the pain of losing a man who’d become like a brother to me over the past decade.
“It could’ve been me,” I choked out.
“But it wasn’t.” A kiss was pressed to my forehead. “And I thank God every day for that miracle.” Her heavy sigh reached my ears. “I know right now you’re swarmed with guilt that you survived your fall when Murphy didn’t, but it’s not your fault.”
“It’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed. “But he knew the risks, and in the end, he died doing what he loved.”
“How—” I swallowed thickly. “How am I supposed to go on without him?”
“The only way you can. By taking it one day at a time. By honoring his legacy by keeping his memory alive.” She placed a hand over my fractured heart. “He lives in here now.”
This woman. She was the only thing keeping me afloat as the stormy seas swirled violently, threatening to drag me under.
I only hoped that someday I would be able to repay the favor.
June
The lights of the cabin were dimmed, but Aspen wasn’t asleep. Instead, she knelt at Daisy’s side, where my wife was propped up against the headboard, her shirt pulled up to expose the taut skin of her round belly.
Aspen’s tiny head turned when she heard the door latch, and she exclaimed, “Dada!”
I kicked my boots off and hung my hat. “Hey, sweet girl. What are you still doing up?”
Our daughter placed both hands atop Daisy’s bare stomach. “Baby!”
For the first time in the weeks since Murph’s death, my lips curved into a smile. “Tell me more. What’s that baby doing?”
Her bright blue eyes went comically large, and Aspen’s rosebud lips dropped open before she yanked her hands away. “Oh!”
A chuckle broke free from my chest. That little one tumbling around in there shocked me every time too. But it was, hands down, one of the most incredible things I’d ever experienced.
Daisy smoothed the copper curls away from our girl’s forehead. “He’s just saying hello to his big sister.”
