Page 35 of For the Love of Skating
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Kat
“Focus! Focus, your turn is coming up. Complete the jump!” my new coach shouts in her Russian accent from the boards as she leans over to watch my every movement like a hawk.
Nadia is well known for training past Olympic skaters, and she has taken a chance on me from the moment I first met her a few weeks ago. I wasn’t expecting it. I went to work that day to teach Allie some basic beginner’s skating movements, and by the end of our session, I was itching to skate my heart out. A lot has been happening in my life, all of it moving in fast motion beyond my control, and the need for an outlet hit me hard. Kal did ask me the first day I met him about nationals, but it flew over my head. I thought he was just being nice, you know, trying to get me to take the job. Color me surprised that after I was done skating, a sound of clapping hands reached my ears as I bent over trying to catch my breath.
“I am Nadia Ivanov, your new coach.” I stared at her with my mouth hanging open, but she didn’t seem to notice as she circled me on the ice with heels on. “I expect you to show up on time for every practice and to follow my rules. You are in shape, but you need to train hard if you want to make it to the Olympics. You skate like a beautiful swan, but something is holding you back. We are going to get to the bottom of that. Nationals are in six months, and I am the best at what I do. You will be going for the gold medal by the time I’ve whipped you into shape. After your client has left tomorrow, the training begins. Drink a protein shake beforehand, you will be throwing up by the time I’m done with you.”
Her fur coat hung down to her ankles, swishing back and forth as she left the ice on steady feet. I was flabbergasted, and Kal came around the corner from the locker rooms, laughing his ass off at my expression.
“She’s a handful, but the best of the best. I wasn’t joking when we first met, I saw the potential and knew Nadia had to watch you skate. If she didn’t think you could make it, she would’ve left without saying anything. Congratulations, Kat!”
I’m still in shock that this is happening. It’s been a dream since I tried on my first skates, but the thought of skating in front of thousands of people tears up my insides. It would have made Mom proud, but she’s not here to see it, so what’s the point? I’ve been skating just for me for so long that I’m not sure how to open myself to an audience watching my every move.
The song “Somebody You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi plays over the speakers, and it really digs deep into my soul. My blades pick up speed, my leg muscles tightening as I skate circles around the rink, then switch positions by skating backwards with my upper body turned halfway and my arms outstretched on my sides. Bringing my arms in, I cross them over my chest with my head thrown back as the song starts to come to an end. For the final jump, my entire body braces for the moment my skates leave the ice—one blinding second where I’m flying before I gracefully come back down from performing the lutz jump. Landing with one leg extended behind me and my arms balancing by my sides, I finish the song with my heart thrown in it. I swirl around and dip down until my knee almost touches the ice while my other leg is stretched out behind me. My back is arched with a perfect curve, and my arms are above my head with a gracefully free feeling as I glide across the ice. As the song drifts off, I stand up and swirl one leg around, the ice spraying like a snowstorm until it’s quiet and I’m staring down with tears in my eyes. I think I just skated that song for Granger…I’ve always skated for Mom, but something about this performance made me want to put all my passion into it.
“Bravo, Kathleen! That right there is going to get you into nationals! The passion and tragedy blended well together, so this is the song you will skate to. Stop hiding, and think about whatever brought this side of you out when you're on the ice,” Nadia applauds me, staring at me with a tender and all too knowing gaze.
I skate towards the boards to exit, meeting her at the door, and she hands me a small towel to dry the sweat off my face. She turns towards me with a look of concern as I brace my elbows on the boards and glance onto the empty rink.
“My mom used to say that the only moment of peace she felt was when she was on that ice, flying towards freedom. I could have watched her for hours. She was the only thing you could see, no matter how many people were around. She captivated and held your attention with each graceful movement, like the most elegant, beautiful work of art…” My voice trails off, lost in the memories, and my throat closes at the way I miss her every second.
“You only need to look in a mirror… You are your mother’s daughter. She gave you a piece of herself to skate and show the world that another angel glides on the ice.” Nadia stares straight ahead, giving me the privacy to shed a few tears.
“Thank you,” I whisper, and turn to walk to the locker rooms to shower.
“Happy Birthday, Kathleen. Don’t lose that passion, and whoever is causing it, hold on to them tight,” she says to my back before exiting through the glass doors.
Opening my locker once inside, I sit down on the bench and groan in misery because I have two texts and ten missed calls. All from my father, who can’t take the hint. I don’t want to see him ever again or marry his future business partner's son just so he can keep the business in the family. So gross and wrong in so many ways. Sighing in the empty locker room, I shove the metal door closed and head to the showers in a somewhat bad mood because of him. I probably need to have one more talk with him so he leaves me alone for good. I’ve stopped thinking my father can change long ago—the bruises were a reminder that he can’t or won’t change.
