Page 39 of Raphael
“I burn constantly thinking of her, the need only quiets having Helena again. Nothing else matters during those hours together. She has unknowingly become my entire world...”
My emotions scald me, bubbling up like molten lava. I fist both hands roughly against my prickling eyes as I realize the bonds between us are already woven so tightly, nothing could break them. When I eventually resurface from the torrent, Michael waits patiently, offering silent support like always for his tempestuous siblings.
“Sorry...” I rasp hoarsely, shame heating my face as I admit my weakness. Warrior angels aren’t supposed to give in to their passions, especially not for forbidden affairs like this.
But Michael instantly grips my forearm. “Love reveals our humanity, Raphael.Never apologize for opening your heart.” Fierce conviction burns bright as any battlefield pronouncement of old.
Moved anew by my brother’s eternal supply of grace, I clasp his hand tightly. “So that’s the truth, then.” A deliberate breath steadies my voice. “I’ve fallen ridiculously hard without intention or resistance. And the scariest part? I hold that same power over her. She just chooses to hide behind impenetrable armor.” Michael’s eyes crinkle knowingly and I huff wry agreement. “You’d guessed it already, I’d wager. Probably why you kept needling about my distractions lately.”
Michael dips his head, not denying my accusation. “I sensed someone kindled fire in you again, yes. The glow of new love lights your spirit as strongly as any divine blessing.” His smile holds only shared joy for me, allowing my tentative happiness to take fuller shape. I shake my head ruefully, bolstered by my brother’s acceptance where scorn might easily have ruled in another time. I’ll owe Michael ceaseless gratitude for this.
Conspiratorial mirth dances between us now. Michael leans back, studying me with renewed curiosity about this mystery woman. “Won’t you tell me more about yourHelenathen? She must be quite phenomenal, winning the heart not easily given from LA’s most notorious flirt.”
His playful prod draws the first unrestrained laugh from me in weeks. The sound rings foreign after constant worry consuming my thoughts. But Michael’s calming strength lets me unload fearlessly as I describe raven hair spilling over alabaster shoulders, lips curving only for me, seductive eyes holding scorching promises...
The overhead pager blares too soon, summoning Michael away on trauma surgeon business. Our smiles fading, my brother straightens reflexively at the call of duty. But he squeezes my shoulder briefly with a nod that speaks volumes before heading off once more into the trenches without hesitation.
“Well, little brother, seems you stumbled upon quite the marvel.” Michael’s eyes twinkle approvingly. “This Helena must be remarkable to captivate your focus so completely. When can I meet the angel who so thoroughly tamed God’s most unrepentant hedonist?” His grin flashes with friendly challenge.
The blood chills in my veins as I recall my devastatingly wicked Helena. If Michael discovers she’s the niece of all evil, it’ll be the end of our renewed kinship.
I force teasing nonchalance desperately past the sudden ache choking my breath again. “Maybe down the line somewhere, if she ever agrees that settling down sounds appealing.” My chuckle aims for casual but falls flat even to me.
Mercifully, Michael seems to mistake my reserve for awkwardness. His smile softens in empathy. “Well, she clearly offers something you need right now if it makes suffering through your notorious boredom with monogamy worthwhile.” His eyes dance gently. “Just promise your brothers updates now and then? We live rather vicariously through your adventures.”
Pausing mid-gathering papers together, Michael catches and holds my look meaningfully. “I cannot tell you how happy seeing you like this makes me, Raphael. Love transforms life beautifully, even if the course seems complicated presently.” Nostalgia-hued eyes gaze through me intently. “If Helena isThe Onefate destined to complete your spirit, as I believe, any troubles passing between you now will surely resolve so long as devotion remains strong from both sides.”
I stare at my brother, overwhelmed for a beat. His faith restores my own, badly shaken recently by circumstance. I never considered myself needing a life partner before Helena. But having known unparalleled compatibility now with her, the concept of losing my goddess shreds all of my certainties as nothing else could.
I clasp Michael tightly by both shoulders, willing my soul’s silent promise to reach his, despite my unsteady voice. “Thank you Michael, truly. Just knowing you see happiness, not sin in love, lifts a boundless weight off me. With your blessing, I can battle the forces demanding we stay apart without doubts plaguing my devotion.” I shake my head ruefully, meaning bleeding through every fervent word. “She is my destiny, brother. Even though circumstances have made it difficult for us to be together at the moment.”
Michael returns my intent look levelly, hands firm where they cup my neck bracingly. I read his unflinching support in that hawk’s gaze even before solemn words resonate with approval. “Then I give you joy, Raphael. Let no one condemn what Heaven has chosen for you as a reward for your selfless sacrifice. Your actions go beyond mortal understanding.” He smiles gently down at me until I nod, tension melting under his steadfast trust, the rock anchoring all of us since first light.
A screeching alarm blares through the tender moment. Michael’s head jerks up, assessing the summons, then turns apologetic eyes in my direction, already shifting focus. “Duty calls, little brother. We’ll continue this soon.” He hesitates briefly. “Will I see you later?”
I flash him a grin and quickly gather up the scattered charts before following him out of the lounge. “And miss all the excitement around here? Try keeping me away.” I nudge his shoulder affectionately. “It’s not every day that I get to impress my sophisticated city girl with tales of life or death heroics.”
Michael snorts indelicately, but smiles, waving for me to join the controlled rush towards wherever catastrophe struck this time. “You’re welcome to tag along,” he offers.
I crack a smile. “Just like the old days.”
Together, we converge on the trauma bay with the others, Michael smoothly assuming command, barking orders. I hang back, watching the controlled chaos erupting as the gurney wheels in with the victim of a brutal assault.
Years in these trenches steel your heart against clawing empathy when detached action saves lives best. I brace to assist any way needed. But before scrubbing in, movement at my shoulder draws my attention. Rowan, one of our charge nurses, extends me a trauma gown and gloves, her expression grim. “Looks like another alleyway assault with head injuries,” she says. “Defensive wounds on female victim mid-twenties. She’ll need your skills, Dr. Raphael.”
I nod brusquely, familiar wrath at random violence chilling my blood. I focus on the victim’s suffering now; punishing the perpetrators comes later. Tying the gown quickly, I join Michael, assessing the machines wailing the patient’s critical status. Time slows down to snapshots burned into my memory as I take in the scene—a broken body bloodied but breathing shallowly, lank hair obscuring their face matted with gruesome rust from lethal wounds. My professional assessment notices each dire injury pointing towards painful recovery—ifwe pull this off at all.
I quickly glance over the chart while reciting the protocol, naming each medication and its specific dosage. But as I look up from the clipboard, my voice stumbles at the sight of a piece of jewelry that I recognize, hanging from the patient’s bruised neck.
My breath is knocked out of my lungs as if shot. Because I recognize that ornate antique iron key, mocking me now with a cruel sparkle from where it lies against skin more fitting a corpse than a vibrant, passionate lover.
Dangerously, my vision tunnels. Some distant part of me registers Michael’s sharp tone, calling orders that blur into meaningless noise. Nothing penetrates, except the horror unfolding before me, as my entire world is violently shattered and writhing in agony.
A wounded cry rips out of my throat. I lurch helplessly towards her, overcome with a surge of sickness as reality hits hard.
The gurney rails dig into my palms as I grip them rigid white to stay upright. Someone shouts a warning just as Helena’s eyes slit partially. Glazed brown irises roll drunkenly, trying to fixate upward through her haze of suffering. They finally meet mine. Relief filters through the pain, blackening her gaze, and she mouths something desperate I can’t decipher. Then her eyes slip closed again, the momentary consciousness stolen away once more.
“Baby… can you hear me?” I choke out past the bile scalding my throat. Tears blur sickening details from her violent assault. I cling to the faint beeping, promising she yet clings to life, however tenuous.
