Page 32 of Crossroads of Innocence
“I’m a coward.” Tears tunneled her vision. “I was weak, and I left nothing but pain behind me. Pain I might’ve stopped if I would have stayed.”
Wade moved to his feet and fell to his knees at her side. He cradled her hands in his. “Hey now. No tears and definitely no coming down so hard on yourself. Just talk to me.”
She sniffed, but it did nothing to vanquish the moisture from spilling over her lashes. “I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t be in that house. Never knowing what kind of mood he’d be in—if he’d shower me with love and affection or treat me like the scum under his shoe.”
Wade squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I wish you would have told me.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I was afraid to tell anyone. If Dad ever saw me act out or got wind of me speaking in a way he didn’t approve, he’d not only take it out on me. He’d take it out on Laura.”
“What do you mean?” Wade asked, frowning.
She squeezed her eyes closed for a beat, hating going back to all the bad memories. A light tug on her arm opened her eyes and lifted her to her feet. She found herself standing in front of Wade, their hands still twined together.
“Let’s take a seat somewhere more comfortable. I’ll clean up later,” Wade said then led her to the worn-in couch.
She settled into the corner, hooking her leg up and shifting to face him. Macey jumped into her lap. A chill swept over Jude, and she crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing her fingers up and down her long-sleeved t-shirt to warm up. But the chill had nothing to do with the temperature.
“You were saying?” He prompted, eyes wide and filled with concern.
She swallowed the bile creeping up her throat. “Dad’s biggest concern is his image. And as the mayor, people were always watching us. Always measuring what we said and how we acted, and if something slipped out that shouldn’t—or God forbid I reacted to him like I did earlier today—he’d make sure I paid.”
Wade’s Adam’s apple bopped, a sure sign he struggled to keep his temper from showing. “Paid how? Did he hit you?”
She shook her head. “He never touched us. It was more like emotional warfare. He’d take things away or hide them. Things I needed or loved, not like punishing a petulant child by taking away screen time. I mean stashing my homework so I’d get a bad grade or making me think my cat had run away because I’d misbehaved when really he’d locked it in the basement.”
Stroking Macey’s silky fur, she let herself go back to the dark days she tried so hard to forget. But in order for Wade to understand what she’d survived, she needed to show him what she’d escaped. “As I got older, the punishments got worse. Instead of hiding my homework, he’d hide Laura’s. Instead of my cat being locked in the basement, I was.”
The gut-wrenching sensation of being confined in the dark basement overtook her. Her teeth chattered and pulse pounded against her temple. She focused on Macey’s soft fur and avoided the pity coming off Wade in waves. “Once he realized it was more upsetting for him to punish my sister for my actions, he took it ever further. Cutting her hair inch by inch if he didn’t like my attitude, forcing her to sit at the table and eat food she hated—like dill pickles or spoonfuls of mustard—if I disobeyed. Locking her in the closet in the laundry room if I spoke out of turn. Every move I made was scrutinized, every action seemingly leading to another slap on the wrist for me—and an even bigger one for Laura. I thought if I left, he’d leave her alone.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell anyone? Hell, why didn’t you ever tell me? My parents loved you like their own. They would have stepped in. Would have done whatever they could to help.”
She snorted, wishing she still had some of his naiveté. Some of his innocence. “Who’d believe the word of a kid who lived in a pretty blue house with a white picket fence and parents who portrayed nothing but love and kindness? I wore the nicest clothes, was always well-behaved, and never carried a mark from anything other than my own clumsiness. Nobody can see invisible scars, and no one would ever believe a child over a powerful and respected man like my father.”
* * *
Anger coursedthrough Wade’s veins. Anger at what Jude had been put through for so long, and anger at himself for not seeing it.
He couldn’t do anything to help the girl who was too scared to speak out, but he could do something now. “I would have believed you, and I have a feeling more people would have taken your side than you thought. I never liked your dad. There have to be others in town who’ve seen him for who he really is.”
“You believe me now because you saw my reaction earlier. And you didn’t like my dad because he was your girlfriend’s father. He was always tough on you.” She offered him a weak, watery smile.
Leaning forward, he hooked an arm around her shoulders. “I haven’t been Jenson Metcalf’s daughter’s boyfriend in a long time. I didn’t like him before, I hate the bastard after hearing all this. But even without you telling me what a monster he is, I’ve seen chips in his smooth veneer. He’s always putting on a show. Always trying to win votes and kiss babies. People can only wear a mask for so long before it slips. Even your dad.”
She shivered and sandwiched her top lip between her teeth as though she didn’t quite believe him. “I suppose you’re right, but back then, that seemed impossible.”
He hated asking the question that had plagued him all day, but he couldn’t hold back any longer. “What about your mom? Did she know what was happening?”
Jude tightened her jaw and dropped her gaze. She strummed her fingertips over Macy’s back. “She knew.”
Conflicting emotions battled inside him. His memories of Nicole Metcalf were of a nice woman with a pleasant smile and caring demeanor. He couldn’t align the woman he’d known most of his life with a mother who allowed her children to be abused.
“Ahhh,” Jude said, throwing her head back and pressing the heels of her hands over her eyes. “This is a lot for me to talk about. My dad is less complicated for me to wrap my mind around at this point in my life. He’s a toxic asshole I have no desire to have a relationship with. I had to shed him from my life like a snake shedding its skin. But my mom?” Her voice cracked and she curled into a ball, as if trying to disappear. “I just wanted her to stand up for me.”
His heart tore in two. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he engulfed her in his arms and held her close. How had he not known the pain she’d lived with? How had he not seen it? “I’ll stand up for you, Jude. That might not mean much now, but I’ll stand beside you, in front of you, or even a step behind you. How can I even start to make this right?”
She buried her head in his chest and sobs shook her shoulders. Tears soaked through his T-shirt. “Nothing can change the past,” she said, a hiccup interrupting her words. “I’m okay, at least as okay as I can be—murdering stalker aside.”
He snorted at her attempt to lighten the mood.
