Page 112 of Thursdays at Orange Blossom House
Dorothy had looked as surprised by it as Grace Maud was. ‘What do you mean – travelling?’ she’d asked.
Patricia had laughed and Grace Maud noted that she seemed happier than she’d ever been. ‘Not forever,’ she said. ‘Just for a few weeks. I’ve never been anywhere much outside Australia.’
‘Nor have I,’ said Grace Maud, because one of the prices you pay for a life on the land is not being able to leave it very often.
‘But your life is more interesting,’ Patricia said, to Grace Maud’s surprise. She’s never thought it that interesting.
‘Mine’s fairly staid,’ Patricia went on. ‘School, home, school, home. The best thing about it is yoga and seeing you two.’ She smiled. ‘Which will continue once I’m back.’
Then something had shifted in her face. ‘Mum’s going to keep getting worse, and even though she’s in the home now I’ll still be visiting her a lot. And I’ll need to keep looking after Dad. That could be for years. Now’s the time to …’ She paused and sighed.
‘Liberate yourself?’ Grace Maud said, and Patricia looked at her knowingly.
‘That sounds about right,’ she said.
Grace Maud did not, of course, begrudge Patricia her decision, but she was surprised to find herself feeling sad after she arrived home.
Sadness is not, however, an emotion she indulges on a regular basis so she had plans to make a cup of tea, locate a chocolate biscuit and sit in the garden while she found herself a different mood. That was until Cecilia informed her of her own decision to change: she’s moving back in with her mother.
Now Cecilia is looking at Grace Maud expectantly, and Grace Maud is wondering why this Saturday, of all the days in her life, is the one when two people she cares about so much have decided to make such announcements.
‘Oh,’ she says, holding onto the teacup in her lap and trying hard not to let it tremble as she feels disappointment surge through her.
‘I love it here,’ Cecilia says. ‘And you’ve been so nice letting me stay. It’s just time for me to go back. Mum and I are getting along much better now. Thanks to you.’
‘To me?’
‘What you said that day when I told you she wanted me to go to church … I realised I was only thinking about myself. Not seeing it from her point of view.’
Cecilia’s eyes are bright, and while she doesn’t have Patricia’s air of liberation she does look as though something has been settled. It’s not Grace Maud’s place to destabilise that. So she has to put up and shut up, as the saying goes.
‘I’m so pleased,’ she says, not adding the next part:pleased that I’ve been able to help you decide to leave me alone.
‘And I told her all about Luca.’ Cecilia blushes, which is charming considering she and Luca have known each other for a while now. Their relationship is hardly anything to feel abashed about. ‘She’s still not happy that he’s not Catholic, but she’s not going to try to stop me seeing him.’
‘So it seems, perhaps, that she’s able to see things from your point of view?’
Cecilia nods. ‘I’ll still come here!’ she says. ‘To work.’ Then she looks uncertain. ‘If you want me to.’
‘Of course I do,’ Grace Maud says quickly, thinking of how those days will become highlights again. She has become so used to having company that she’s unsure whether she wants to live without it now, but she has no choice.
‘Are you all right?’ Cecilia says gently, stepping closer.
‘Hm?’
‘You look upset.’
Grace Maud is annoyed with herself for having slipped. Cecilia doesn’t need to know what she’s thinking.
‘It’s nothing,’ she says dismissively. ‘I was simply thinking about how things change. Patricia is going overseas for a while. So …’ She smiles with her lips pressed firmly together. ‘I’ll have no one to go to yoga with. Which shouldn’t be a problem, I know. It’s not as if I’m not a big girl.’
‘I’ll go with you,’ Cecilia says without hesitation.
‘That’s very kind, but I’ll be fine.’
‘I want to go! You love it so much. And I didn’t give it a chance. All those funny names for things … I felt a bit stupid when I couldn’t understand what was going on.’
Grace Maud contemplates the vivacious young woman in front of her and wonders how she could ever think herself stupid. But she is also aware that none of us knows the catalogue of doubts and insecurities that others carry around in their heads.
