Page 22 of Thursdays at Orange Blossom House
She was glad, because there were other children at school whose parents would punish them if they didn’t top the class. Dorothy was never going to be that child. Besides, Dorothy had other things on her mind, like Cornelia.
It wasn’t until Dorothy was in high school, learning about World War II and all the things her parents would never tell her, that she realised her mother had a different perspective on what was important in life.
She’s also discovered that when she finds a class she likes – such as yoga – she can turn up and be a diligent student. As she is being now: following Sandrine’s instructions as they inhale – pause. Exhale – pause.
Dorothy is so busy concentrating on the pauses that after a while she becomes aware that she isn’t thinking and worrying about anything. Maybe that’s the point? She’ll have to ask Sandrine later.
After some time has passed – Dorothy has lost track – Sandrine announces that they will have a break.
‘This practice is strong,’ she says. ‘So take ten minutes. Then we will come back, and as a special treat we will do some nice stretches.’ She smiles enigmatically. ‘We may run a little late tonight. But it will be worth it.’
Dorothy turns to Patricia. ‘Would you like to go outside? I think I need some fresh air to help me take a break from all this breathing.’
She laughs, so Patricia will know she’s joking. It’s always tricky when you haven’t spent much time with someone and they don’t know your sense of humour. Then she sees that Patricia’s face looks pinched, her lips puckering. And her skin is paler than it was at the start of the class.
‘Um …’ she says.
‘Are you all right?’ Dorothy glances to Grace Maud on her other side, to check on her as well. The older woman is frowning in Patricia’s direction.
‘I’m … not sure.’ Patricia inhales, then looks surprised.
‘I’m getting Sandrine,’ Dorothy says, standing up.
‘No, that’s okay. I’m fine.’
‘You’re not fine,’ Grace Maud says and nods at Dorothy. ‘Go.’
Dorothy scurries over to Sandrine and tells her what’s wrong. They walk back to where Patricia is now sitting with one hand on her abdomen, the other over her mouth.
‘Patricia,’ Sandrine says, squatting, ‘do you feel a little nauseated?’
Patricia nods quickly.
‘That is normal.’ Sandrine rubs Patricia’s thigh. ‘But I forgot to say it. I was carried away. So much to tell you all.’ She pulls a face. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s all right,’ Patricia says, scrambling to her feet. ‘But I think I need the loo.’ She’s gone before any of them can reply.
‘Poor thing,’ Dorothy says.
‘It happens quite a lot,’ Sandrine says. ‘Sometimes with the breathing, sometimes in the poses. Yoga reveals who we really are, and in order to do that sometimes we need to throw the rubbish out. Sometimes it comes out here,’ she gestures to her mouth, ‘sometimes here.’ This time she pats her bottom, waggling her eyebrows, and Dorothy blushes while Grace Maud laughs. ‘To-tal eva-cu-a-tion,’ Sandrine says. ‘And she will sleep well tonight.’
‘Is it really necessary?’ Grace Maud asks. ‘Yoga seems to be … somewhat trying.’
‘Everyone is different,’ Sandrine says. ‘And yoga … well, Grace Maud, I am sure you know that change is always hard. When we come to the practice we bringallllthe junk of our lives,non? That is why we come a lot of the time – because we know we need to be rid of that junk. But it took years to build up, you see? It is not quick, or easy, to throw it out. We must throw it out, though, if we want to return to ourselves. If we want to be whole.’ She smiles softly. ‘Sometimes we may even become happy. Imagine!’
Dorothy considers what Sandrine has said: the work required and what may result. She thinks about the pain she’s already put her body through and what may be to come if she tries again. With each miscarriage she felt herself becoming less and less Dorothy – like part of her was seeping away. If yoga can bring even some of that back to her, it’s worth trying. And it’s better that she knows it will be hard sometimes. She can prepare for that. The worst lessons are the ones you’re not prepared for.
‘Patricia will be a while,’ Sandrine says, standing. ‘You should have a walk outside. Enjoy the trees. Even at night they are lovely companions.’
Dorothy looks at Grace Maud.
‘Shall we?’ Grace Maud says.
Dorothy grins and helps the older woman to her feet.
They take their time to walk outside and move towards a pink bloodwood that looks oversized for the garden. The night air is cool but Dorothy doesn’t mind. That breathing made her a little overheated at times so this is a respite.
‘So what do you think about this yoga?’ Grace Maud says, putting one hand to her lower back.
