Page 50 of This Baby Business
“Don’t blame yourself. You’re new to this, and they’re not making it easy on you.”
“No, they’re not.” He spread his legs and long arms hung between them.
“I can imagine it’s harder for Mr. Lane. Fathers and daughters sometimes have…complicated relationships.”
My father had always worried about me, but especially after Mom’s death. We were separated now by several thousand miles, and the distance worked. Because I had to do this on my own. He would have only tried to rescue me from the tough work I’d had to do on myself, just like Mom had done.
“It’s the only slack I cut him. Can’t imagine what he went through.”
“When my dad fell and broke his hip…at his age, it’s dangerous. We worried we might lose him, too.” I fought for control of my shaky voice. Not going to let my emotions take over, and risk him feeling sorry for me.
“I get it. My parents travel all over the world to places where American civilians often have no business being. I used to worry about them all the time.” He took a big breath. “But it’s one thing to lose a parent. Another to lose a child. Even if they’re grown.”
I nodded. “I can’t possibly understand.”
He studied me. “Tell me about your dad.”
“My dad? Oh, he always had my back. It’s hard to see him like this. Hurting. Not willing to work to get better.”
“Physical therapy is rougher than you might realize. I’ve had a couple friends go through it. It can be not just physically debilitating, but mentally. Only the mentally strong get through it.”
“And he won’t get better if he doesn’t try to adapt to the new hip. My brother says he fights them at every turn. He hates the pain.”
“They all do. But no pain, no gain.”
“I’ve heard that before. Every time I went to the gym.”
“Physical therapy is like the gym on steroids. You know that trainer you love to hate? It’s like that.”
“So no use fighting it, right? Get through the pain and to the other side.”
“Sounds like you’ve been there.”
“No, just nearby.”
He laughed, and I loved the sound of it. His laughter rang into the night and touched my special places with a sharp, hot slice of desire.
“Tell me.”
“In a way, New York was sort of like physical therapy for me. Painful, but I needed to get through it.”
He squinted. “How’s that?”
“Never mind.” He didn’t need to hear about my problems. “Nothing to tell. It just didn’t work out for me.”
His easy acceptance of that, without forcing me to say more, surprised me. All of my friends had pressed, Mom and Dad included. Only Zoey and Jill knew the honest truth. Alec had built me up, just to tear me down.
I’d simply been…devastated.
“Plan B can be interesting. Grace is my plan B.”
I was still working my way to plan B. “What was plan A?”
“Plan A, since I was eighteen, was always the air force. My first love. My dad was army, so he gave me a hard time. But I wanted to make my own way. I was going to die there, or stay until they forced me out.”
“I’m sorry, Levi.” I leaned against his shoulder and listened to the pattern of his breathing.
Steady. Measured. So much like the man.
