Page 73 of This Baby Business
That hit me front and center and might as well have been a punch to my gut. He was right. I’d held back from him from the moment I’d decided I would sleep with him. Because I didn’t want to get attached. I didn’t want Levi and Grace to be more commitments and obligations in my life.
Because I always manage to screw those up.
“No.” I shook my head, not wanting to admit it. “That doesn’t sound like me.”
His thumb traced my bottom lip. “Then stay with me tonight.”
“We don’t have to pretend anymore.”
“This isn’t about the Lanes. It’s about you and me.” His hand palmed the nape of my neck and drew me closer, until I was just a breath away.
“Don’t you have to work—”
“No early flights tomorrow.”
But we said no one would get hurt. And I’m very likely leaving for New York.
I didn’t want to make it any harder than it would already be to leave, and Levi and Grace were already complicating my life. Far more than I’d ever intended.
“But I—”
“Do you need your toothbrush? Because I’ll go get it.”
“Levi,” I said on a laugh.
“I mean it.” He tugged on a lock of my hair. “Unless you’re still too scared of me. Which I understand.”
“I never said I was afraid of you.”
“You didn’t have to.” He brought their joined hands up together and brushed a kiss across my knuckles.
He was right, in a way. I was afraid of the control he kept around me at all times, because I understood all too well how some of that could just…snap. When someone who’d held all their emotions in for so long just cut loose, there was usually a lot of damage after the fact. It had happened in New York. My teacher, my friend. Alec had been so encouraging and patient with my questions. Then he’d just snapped. The tirade he’d thrown in front of the class was so embarrassing I hadn’t been able to show my face again for days.
Levi studied me now, his brow furrowed in concern. I did trust and feel safer with him than I had with any man in a long time. He seemed sincere about wanting to help, and he was sweet to be concerned about my father. And with that single effort, he’d managed to reach inside and squeeze my heart. But I was so not ready to do this little dance again. Especially not with him. I was leaving, and didn’t want to hurt him or Grace.
His lips grazed my jawline, and he brushed a kiss on the corner of my mouth. Talented hands were busy sliding down from my hips to palm and squeeze my behind. In another minute, I wouldn’t be responsible for what I’d do. And I needed him out of my system, but not like this. Not by staying the night and imitating what a committed couple might do. Wake up together. Have breakfast. Grace would be here, too. We’d be like family, but not a family.
“I need to go.”
“Are you sure?”
I met his eyes and found a strength there that stunned me. “Yes.”
He stepped back, no hurt, disappointment or recrimination in his gaze. Just a quiet and calm acceptance as he held my hand and led me out his front door.
“You’re not mad,” I said to him outside my home.
He cocked his head and smiled a little. “No.”
“Why? Don’t youeverget mad?”
“You really don’t want to talk to me after the Cowboys miss the playoffs. Again.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“You have so many reasons to be angry about what happened with Grace.”
