Page 30 of Nashville Cowboy
She huffed, not taking the bait. They finished cleaning up the kitchen and Winston was allowed past the threshold. He busied himself trying to follow the smells that they’d wiped away.
“You do see what she’s done, don’t you?” Jackson threw a look in the direction of Mima’s bedroom. “We’re alone for a reason. Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“Oh, I don’t know. How about that time you didn’t show up at our wedding?”
After a stunned second, she found her words. “I…don’t have anything more to say. I said I’m sorry that it happened.”
“Then I’ll talk. And you can listen.”
She may have conquered anger, but fear and anxiety were still sidekicks that showed up often. It helped to do something routine, but this was far from business as usual. So, she pictured her bedtime process. Brushing her teeth, flossing, taking out her hearing aid, putting on her PJs, brushing her hair…
He leaned on the broom. “Want to know what happened my first few weeks in Nashville? I drank.”
“I-I don’t think I want to hear this.”
“For about two weeks straight. Morning, noon, and night. I was such a mess the guys threatened if I didn’t shape up right quick, I was out of the band. And they were all I had left, so I sobered up and picked myself off the floor. You wrecked my heart, Eve. Youbrokeme.”
The ugly truth slammed into her like a punch and whether deserved or not, she couldn’t take it. “Please. Please stop. I can’t hear any more of this.”
“Why not? Remember? We don’t have closure.” He half sneered at that. “Let’s get it.”
“This is not the time or the place to talk about this. I can’t do this with you right now.”
“When is the time or place? You tell me.”
“How about n-never?”
“Try again, baby.” There was the same edge in his tone when he’d fired her. “Because I have a lot of questions, too, and you’re going to answer them.”
Why couldn’t she face him and stand up to him like she used to do? The old Eve would have engaged him better than she’d been doing this past week. She’d certainly never run from him. She’d always ended the argument with a witty remark. She used to love to fight with him because of all the making up. Now, she was empty and fighting simply reminded her that she didn’t always win.
And losing could sometimes be devastating. Life altering.
“You never backed away from a fight before. Gave back as good as you got.”
She crossed her arms. “Maybe I’m tired and not in the mood to be reminded what a horrible person I am.”
“I’m not doing that. But how about givin’ me an explanation? Don’t you think you owe me one?”
“You want an explanation? You wanted to go to Nashville and our wedding day was standin’ in the way.”
“Iwanted to go to Nashville? Is that why I showed up to my weddin’ and you didn’t?”
“I did you a favor.”
“Don’t do me any more favors, will ya?” His voice sounded gritty and low. In the quiet of the house, it seemed to reverberate all around her. “Look at me.”
She did, blinking back tears. The old Eve would have toldhimto look at herasson the way out the door.
“What are you thinking right now?” he said, far more softly, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. “Tell me.”
“That…I don’t know what you want from me.”
“Just the truth, Eve. What did I do wrong? Please. I have to know.”
The knowledge that all these years he’d believed thathe’ddone something wrong squeezed her heart. She should have realized that he would blame himself, but she’d been too selfish and caught up in her own regrets. He might be angry with her for walking out on him, but Jackson would have wanted to fix it. Make things right. He couldn’t do that now. Not with this.
