Page 31 of Nashville Cowboy
“What makes you thinkyoudid anything wrong?”
“Because you stopped loving me. Why else would you walk away?” He met her eyes. “And don’t tell me it’s this self-sacrificial bullshit of wanting me to have my big break. That wasn’t you, Eve. I don’t know what happened to you, but you were afighter.”
Past tense. But now she was trying, damn it, trying like hell to get herself back to the woman she used to be. But when she’d pressed down the anger she’d felt for years, depression followed in its wake.
Jackson had reminded her that she hadn’t made nearly enough progress.
And he was still holding her hand.
She squeezed his hand back, unable to stop herself from wanting the contact. She forced herself to meet his gaze. “Ihatethat I hurt you. Mima forgave me but I don’t deserve her kindness.”
“Don’t say that. Of course you do.” He tipped her chin.
So unexpectedly tender, the gesture so sweet, that her lower lip quivered uncontrollably. “I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me for the rest of your life. I—”
“Stop.”
And then, hand on the nape of her neck, he hauled her to him and kissed her. The shock and pulse of desire reverberated and crackled through her body. She reciprocated the kiss and clung to his shoulders to steady the rocking of her world. His was not a soft kiss but its tenderness reached all the way to her heart. That same heart cracked open. His lips were moving over hers, not insistent, but tentative. Exploring.
When he broke the kiss, Jackson pressed his forehead to hers. “God, Eve. You still drive me crazy.”
“You…you kissed me.”
“You kissed back.” He yanked a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. Look. I don’t know why I did that. No. Wait. I’m lying. I know exactly why. I wanted to.”
“Th-that’s okay.”
“Yeah. Know what’s not okay? The way I’ve been treating you since I got here. The way I talked to you. I’m sorry, Eve.”
“Okay.”
He touched her nose. “I promise that I won’t ever make you cry again.”
“Since we’re being honest about everything now, I should tell you something. I heard you on a phone call before our wedding. You didn’t think I made it to the chapel, but I was there before you were. Ready to start our lives together. But you sounded so miserable. You walked like someone headed to the brig, not the happiest day of your life. You wanted to go and I thought…I thought I deserved someone who wanted to stay. I thought the only reason you were going through with it was because there was no time to postpone the wedding.”
“Eve, I was nervous. I wasn’t miserable, just confused. That’s what happens when you want two things more than anything else in the world.”
“I should have talked to you. We could have postponed the wedding. But I was too proud for any of that. I wanted you to come after me. I needed you to show me that I was all you wanted.”
“And I didn’t.”
“It wasn’t fair to hope for that, I know.” She nodded, biting back tears. “When you went away, you showed me what you really wanted.”
“Or maybe I went with the only thing left to me.”
She’d never thought of it that way.
You broke me.
And somebody else broke me.
“I was always yours.” His blue eyes were shimmering with heat and he brought her hand to his lips. “What am I going to do about that?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t think we should do that again. The kissing.”
“You didn’t like it?”
That was irrelevant. Of course, she’d liked it. No one kissed like Jackson. “I’m too fragile for any of this right now.”
