Page 49 of Nashville Cowboy
“And also, I’m sorry about your mama’s jam. That was rude.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”
“What’d you do to her mama’s jam?” Lincoln asked, looking pissed.
“Never mind. It’s all right. You’re my groom’s brother and I forgive you.” Sadie opened the door wide and pulled Lincoln inside first. “She’s in the bedroom to the left. Y’all can talk in there.”
It seemed as if every vein in Jackson’s neck tightened to the point of snapping. He needed to calm down because if he didn’t his anger would seem misplaced. Lincoln had a point. With anger, sometimes just its nature hurt everyone around. It could be like a storm, which hit everything in its path. He ought to remember, having more than once been the recipient of Hank’s wrath when he’d simply had a “bad day.” It too often felt like Jackson was the reason for that bad day. Only now as a grown man did he realize he’d simply been in Hank’s path.
Jackson opened the door and found Eve sitting on a wrought iron daybed. She wore clean Wranglers and a tight long-sleeved Henley-style tee, the top buttons opened.
“Hey, there,” she said, arms crossed. Her expression was sober, but her gaze soft.
He didn’t speak for a moment because it felt as though he was seeing her again for the first time in eight years. She was so beautiful, more fragile than he’d ever known, and she’d been so hurt. He wouldkillanyone who ever tried to hurt her again with his bare hands.
Unable to rein the emotions in, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, the anger boiling. “If I could have just one minute alone with the man who hurt you, I swear he’d never walk again.”
She turned away from him, staring at the wall with pursed lips.
He simply sat beside her, hip to hip. “Why did you keep this from me? Why did you lie?”
“Why do youthink?” She turned back to him, eyes shimmering. “Because this is exactly what Ididn’twant. You, so angry. You want to fix this, and you can’t. Believe me, I’ve been all the way through this mess. Through it, under it, around it, and all the way to the end. And I know what it’s like to be so angry it’s the only emotion you feel and it rules your life. You don’t want that, Jackson. Don’t take it on.”
“But I won’t ever be able to stop being angry at the person who did that to you.”
“You have to. If I did it, you can.”
“How…you’re notangry?”
He couldn’t comprehend that. He’d never be able to let this go. Hurting a woman…it was disgusting. Reprehensible.
“I’vebeenangry. It didn’t do me any good.”
“Tell me what happened. Was it a random attack? Were you robbed?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you’ll listen all the way to the end.”
She held up a finger as he was about to open his mouth to agree. “Without saying a word.”
He nodded, planning to squash every word, growl, or grunt down his windpipe.
“I didn’t date much when I was at A&M. I had one boyfriend, Bobby, and he was a really nice guy. I think…maybe I could have married him someday if he’d stuck around, but he changed majors and moved away. Afterwards there was another guy, Matt, a football player, who always asked me out. He was too popular for my taste, too loud, too…too much everything. I kept saying no.”
A worry line creased between her eyebrows. “But then one day, well, something happened and I…I changed my mind. I thought it was time to move on, to date someone. So, I did. He was nice our first date. Very good manners. Attentive and kind. But on the second date, he showed his true colors. He got drunk. Gropey. I said no.”
Jackson tensed, every muscle in his body turning to granite, but he kept his word. He didn’t say anything, though he knew where this was headed. He’d certainly met enough female musicians and singers in Nashville who’d been through similar. Some men didn’t hear the word “no.” Get too much alcohol in them and everything got a whole lot worse.
“I didn’t realize it, but he was stalking me. He’d call, begging me to reconsider. But the calls got nastier. Meaner. I’d heard he was already dating someone new, but he seemed to have taken my rejection so personally. I should have talked to the campus police. Ishouldhave acted sooner. But I hoped he’d get over it and forget me.”
She took a deep, shaky breath and every cell in Jackson’s body shook. He took her hand in his and began tracing circles in her palm.
“One day he showed up at my place and knocked me out cold. No more words. No warning. I don’t know how long the attack went on, no one really does, but my roommate showed up and stopped it. She screamed for help and Matt ran. He was arrested the next day. I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. That part was true. And I really was lucky. If my roommate hadn’t shown up, if the campus police hadn’t acted quickly and firmly…”
Jackson simply squeezed Eve’s hand tightly.
“I went through so many emotions after the attack. Terrified, and thensoangry. I lived with anger for two years, let it consume me, while the DA prepared to take him to trial. His attorney came up with the most ridiculous defense. Matt was raised too privileged, through no fault of his own, so he didn’t understand the word “no.” They made our relationship out to be much more than it was. We wereneverintimate. They tried to assassinate my character. To claim that I’d pursued him, then changed my mind, and Matt didn’t understand the sudden change. Couldn’t accept it.
“I couldn’t concentrate, and my grades slipped. Worse, I let my anger infect the rest of my relationships. When Sadie called and wanted to talk, I’d say I was too busy and didn’t have the time to make her feel better about what happened to me.” She grimaced and a single tear rolled down her cheek. “I accused my roommate, the woman who may have saved my life, of conspiring with the defense. All nonsensical but the anger took root in me and spread. I was saved from testifying when Matt took a plea. From attempted murder to aggravated assault, a lesser charge. I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t up to me. You can guess that I was angry about that, too.”
Letting go of her hand, he ran his palm down her spine and up again in a soothing motion. “How did you get past that?”
