Page 72 of Nashville Cowboy
“No more than I hurt you.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “But I also get why you might not have the kind of courage that you once did.”
The courage to fight for her patients when she knew the best course of treatment. It hurt to think that she’d been less than competent due to her own doubts and fears.
“When I’m with you, I remember who I used to be.”
“I was kind of countin’ on that.” He slid her an easy smile. “The woman you used to be was wild, carefree, strong. And mine.”
“I’m goingto miss you so much,” Sadie said, wrapping her arms around Eve and squeezing.
Eve squeezed back. “It’s only a week.”
“Are you going to be alright?” Sadie met Eve’s eyes, clutching both of her hands. “Promise me that you’ll be okay.”
“OfcourseI’m going to be okay.”
“I mean, even if Jackson, you know…” She lowered her voice. “Even after he leaves.”
Sadie might as well have added “again.” Eve knew exactly what she meant. Poor Sadie had endured the brunt of Eve’s pain at discovering Jackson had left for Nashville the very next morning. Sad? No, not sad. She’d beeninconsolable. Jackson had torn up his room? Eve had retired to hers and not left her bed for a week.
“Yes, even then.”
She decided not to add he claimed to be staying longer. That might not work out, either. She had to be ready to say goodbye at any moment. Whatever they were to each other now, it was new. No promises or firm commitments. And no intimacy for her to regret.
“Just please don’t let him go this time without laying it all out. Throw your pride out the window.Ifyou figure out you still love him while I’m gone.”
Eve couldn’t help but smile at that. “I already figured that out.”
Sadie squeezed her again. “Don’t forget I’m only a phone call away.”
“I’m not calling you on your honeymoon. Some things are sacred.”
“You damn right,” Lincoln interjected, hauling his bride into his arms. “Say goodbye, Sadie.”
“Goodbye, everyone!” Sadie waved. “Wait! I almost forgot. The bouquet. I’m supposed to throw it to some lucky future bride.”
“Throw it, baby,” Lincoln said, not putting her down. “You have a distinct advantage from up here to go long and deep.”
“Line up, ladies!” Sadie shouted and once the crowd of women were lined up, she threw it. “Catch!”
Eve wasn’t trying to catch the bouquet, not really, but it sailed past her like a Hail Mary pass and landed right in the eager outstretched hands of one of the women from out of town.
“Woohoo!” She danced around like a receiver in the end zone making a touchdown, nearly tripping over Daisy. “I’m next! Watch out, world.”
Lincoln deposited Sadie in his truck and within minutes they drove off, waving goodbye to everyone.
“I literally always stand with my arms at my sides during these things,” Lucy said. “Once it landed right at my feet. Two women nearly headbutted each other to get to it.”
“I haveneverseen such a display in my life, I declare,” Mima said, shaking her head at the woman.
“Arrogance doesn’t look good on a southern woman,” Beulah added. “It’s just plain ugly.”
“Oh, I’ve seen worse,” Lucy said.
Eve fought a rising sense of panic. The wedding had taken so much of her spare time, months of it, and it was done. Mima’s cast was off and she’d go back to taking care of the ranch hands. Eve would go back to work, and she’d have to find another place to live. More changes. The same stone of anxiety she felt whenever a huge change happened lodged itself in her throat. She could almost feel her palms grow clammy. And Lord, wasn’t she sick of herself? Shehadto get over this. Had to move past it, but how, when shame and regret still pierced her? Logic didn’t seem to work. Words and positive affirmations lasted a short time. Going through the motions worked, but at night she had nowhere to run as thoughts chased her to bed.
I may be alone for the rest of my life.
