Page 31 of Soldier Cowboy
“Hard to say because we don’t know exactly howlongyou’ll be here.”
She slumped a little in her chair. “I know. But I want to get back to my life. I have friends, too, and a career. Or, I had one.”
“You still do. He won’t take that away from you and you can’t let him.”
“What do you mean? I alreadylethim. Take a look at where I am.” She gestured around the room.
“Not for long. Think outside the box. You could always take photos like you have been doing.”
“Oh, you noticed that?”
“Hard not to. You almost disappear behind that camera.”
“In a good way. I feel like I see everything better through the lens. No one can hide their true feelings from me there.” She paused and slid him a significant look. “Hey, maybe when this is all said and done, I could have you on the podcast.”
“Uh, that’s a hard pass.”
“Why? I interviewedJoe.”
Colton didn’t think this was a conversation she’d want to have with him. “I heard.”
“The podcast, or did my father mention it?”
He didn’t see a way out of this one even if he’d love to avoid the subject. “Your father talked about it.”
“Then you know he doesn’t believe in post-traumatic stress. He thinks every soldier should suck it up. My brother was struggling!”
Colton thought he ought to change the subject but didn’t know how. He didn’t want to talk about this. A therapist had diagnosedhimwith PTSD. It was still tough to accept because he’d always believed those with PTSD far worse off than him. But different soldiers handled trauma in different ways, the therapist had explained. There were so many factors involved in the outcome, such as a family history of depression, family support, or suicidal ideation. And yes, there were soldiers who’d decided it would not happen to them or those they’d raised. It was a sign of weakness. Horace was definitely one of those old-school types. A great man with a fatal flaw. What else was new.
“Your father is a good man.”
“I’m sure you believe that. Maybe you’re just like him.”
“I’d like to think so.”
Colton took a breath and went for the words he wanted to say. The connection he wanted to make. It wasn’t easy. Being vulnerable never was. “I honestly believe he’s always done the best he could, and he wanted the best for his son. Just like he wants the best for you.”
“He has a funny way of showing it.” She took a bite of the potatoes almost menacingly. Then she moved from narrowed eyes to wide ones. “Hey, these arereally good.”
He pushed the serving platter toward her. “Have some more.”
She put another spoonful on her plate. “This doesn’t get you off the hook. I’m still mad I don’t have a dress to wear and proper shoes. With heels.”
“We can take care of that tomorrow.”
And so it was that Colton found himself the next morning, after a quick breakfast, on the road to Kerrville for his tux fitting with Jennifer in tow. Bonnie and Winona had wanted Jennifer to wait to go dress shopping with them later and make a day of it. But Colton made excuses that he didn’t like being away from his fiancée for too long.
There was no way he could leave her in Stone Ridge while he went to Kerrville. And she could not go shopping anywhere without him. So, the solution was clearly to pretend they were madly in love and couldn’t be separated. He was lovesick, that was all. It had never happened before but there was a first time for everything.
“Aw that’s sosweet.” Winona had held a hand to her heart and Colton figured he’d scored a direct hit.
Driving out of town now, he noticed the changes far better in the clear light of a bright and sunny April day. They passed a group of Longhorn steer. Long fields of pastures.
The billboard was still huge and alarming.
Jennifer cocked her head as they passed it. “Kind of scary. It’s a little like seeing you up there larger than life. A matinee idol. If you smiled, you’d look a lot more like Sean.”
“I leave the smiling to him.”
