Page 16 of The Ex Next Door
I’m so sorry, baby. Please forgive me. I lost my head tonight.
Text me when you get home. I want to apologize in person.
And then the one that really got to him:
It’s just that you’re so wonderful I can’t believe you’d want to be with me.
Far from inspiring his forgiveness, it only made him wonder what he’d done to make her feel that way. Samantha was a gorgeous woman but so incredibly insecure it had become draining. He didn’t know where that insecurity had come from, but understood it had nothing to do with him. Maybe someone in her life hadn’t believed in her enough, possibly at a young age, and it affected all her adult relationships in the sense that she didn’t see herself as deserving, either.
Declan couldn’t relate. For all else his parents had ever done, they’d certainly instilled a sense of self-worth in both of their sons. That, plus they had modeled a healthy kind of long-lasting love that while inspiring, was also deeply intimidating. Declan wasn’t sure he could ever aspire to reach the goal and it had intimidated him for years. Only once in his life had he had a long-term serious relationship. Come tothink of it, in his entire dating life, he could remember only one girl who’d trusted him without any doubts.
He wondered what Amy saw in him all those years ago and why she’d always believed in him.
Chapter Six
“Everyone wants experience with software accounting programs I don’t know anything about,” Amy said.
Not much demand for those users of home-based accounting systems or basic Excel spreadsheets. That was one requirement for many of these positions, but it was only the tip of the iceberg. They wanted so much more.
“Do youenjoyaccounting?” her mother asked.
Mom had come over to help unpack the last of the boxes. After a week, there were still boxes filled with books, knickknacks and all her children’s homemade treasures. She would probably now store those due to lack of space.
It wasn’t that Amy loved accounting; that was beside the point. It seemed to be the best-paying skill she could use from her years of being home.
“I’m not qualified for much else. There aren’t even many receptionist jobs. I could answer phones and greet people but that’s all mostly automated now.”
“There are a few places left that still prefer the human touch. I’ll ask my hairdresser if she could use a backup receptionist.”
“Okay.”
She had time, but Amy felt discouraged at every turn. Secretary positions at law firms wanted someone who hadher paralegal certificate, too. Some preferred someone with a law degree who was working on passing the bar. And every job, from clerical to entry-level sales, required a college degree. At least she had that.
Last night, Amy had further investigated the requirements needed to be a credentialed teacher in Texas, and found it would only take her a few months to complete them. There were some districts in the state so desperate for teachers that with her bachelor’s degree in hand, she could start working right away while going through the process. Dallas was one of those cities. Charming was not.
She was not moving to Dallas.
The situation wasn’t as desperate as one would think, even if Rob would object to her waiting four to six months to start work as a teacher. She remembered that she wanted to make decisions from this point forward based on her own desires. Yes, she would prefer to teach. It had always been the dream before she married. She would also like to start contributing financially and stop feeling like one of Rob’s responsibilities. It was time to break away from him and truly be on her own but it was easier said than done.
Without another thought, Amy filled out the information and sent for the packet to begin the process of becoming credentialed. It didn’t matter whether or not Rob liked it, she was doing this. If she could find another job in the meantime, she’d do that, too. Amy felt so good about this, she closed her laptop and stretched. It was satisfying to be on the way to something new and possibly exciting. Her brand-new life.
“I did it,” she told Mom.
“Another interview?”
“Nope. But that will come, I hope. I’m applying to become a teacher.”
Mom’s smile was ear to ear. “Honey! That’s wonderful.It’s what you always wanted, and I don’t see why youcan’tbe a teacher. Don’t forget—one day you’ll look around and realize that all along you were blooming.”
Amy ignored that latest flower metaphor.
“I won’t make much money but hopefully enough to help take care of us. It’s going to take me a few months to get through the process, and then I’ll have to find a job in our district, which might take a little time.”
“Perfect. You and the kids will both go to school every day. Summers off. It’s ideal.”
Amy held up a palm. “Don’t tell the kids. To them, six months is a lifetime. I’ll probably have to find another job until then anyway. Just something temporary.”
The boardwalk was always busy during the summer months, and maybe she could swallow the little pride she had left and dispense kettle corn at the Lazy Mazy counter or saltwater taffy at one of the gift shops. Minimum wage wouldn’t cover her half of childcare, but her mother could help some days since she was down to part-time hours at the post office.
