Page 34 of The Ex Next Door
She sensed something untenable in that moment, a tiny prickle of awareness. A feeling so long forgotten that she’d almost failed to recognize it. Excitement? Anticipation? None of that made any sense, not with Declan, not here and now, and yet her body wasn’t listening. And in the next moment, she didn’t think she imagined the lowering of Declan’s head and his eyes ever so briefly scanning her bare legs. The tiny prickle grew to a significant tingle that spread down the back of her thighs.
“Sometimes I think I’m looking for the feeling of that first time again. The first time I fell in love, the first time someone else mattered more than anyone else,” he said. “I miss that.”
So do I.
“Yeah,” Amy said, her body buzzing. She couldn’t look at him. “I know what you mean.”
“Maybe everyone’s like that, right?”
“Yeah. I bet.”
The moment shifted to being more of a casual one, two friends discussing the challenge of relationships in the age of apps. Not two former lovers remembering they were each other’s first. It was easy, of course, to romanticize now. Lifewas simpler due to being young with few responsibilities. Part of the nostalgia was for their youth. She shook off that sense of intimacy with him she’d felt only moments ago. Her imagination, working overtime. The loneliness didn’t help. Before, she’d always had her children.
“I think I’m trying too hard to find someone special,” Declan said. “I’m going to stop for a while, and just focus on my personal goals.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” She moved toward her front door, where in the kitchen freezer a fresh pint of Chunky Monkey awaited her.
“What about you?”
“Me?”
“Are you still going to sign up for those dating app sites?”
She wished she hadn’t mentioned that. “I don’t know yet.”
“You saw how well mine worked out. I don’t recommend it.” He moved toward his door.
“Declan?” She hesitated, hand on the doorknob, but she had to do this.
He needed the pick-me-up and she could use a little unloading right now. A little honesty and barebones vulnerability when it was her choice.
“Yeah?”
“I never had a chance to tell you this, but you were the best first boyfriend I could have ever had. You made me feel safe, always, and I never doubted that you loved me. Never.”
He smiled like the thought cheered him, then nodded. “Thanks for that. Good night. See you tomorrow.”
Amy shut the front door and leaned her back against it. She pictured Declan moments ago, standing between a shaft of moonlight and streetlight, illuminating him. Still so attractive to her, with an almost magnetic pull. She’d almost had an out-of-body experience listening to him talk aboutthe first time he’d ever been in love. He was talking about her, she was certain. If it were her saying the same words, she’d mean him.
She covered her face with her hands. No, no. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t, fall for her first love all over again.
Because that would be stupid.
* * *
The next day, Amy’s and Declan’s shifts at the Salty Dog overlapped. Even though they lived next door to each other, they still hadn’t carpooled to work. Declan rolled in about four hours into her shift, twirling his apron between two fingers. He relieved Max Del Toro, one of the owners who occasionally pulled a shift bartending. Amy had already met him and his wife, Ava. A surly and big man, Max was the type to break up bar fights before they even started. People were generally fearful of the former navy SEAL.
Amy learned from Debbie that while bar fights were not the norm, they almost always occurred on a Saturday night during the full moon. And about 98 percent of the time they were disagreements about sport teams. People in Charming took their baseball seriously. Fortunately, the playoffs weren’t going to be an issue for another few months so they were in the “safety zone.”
“Hey, Declan!” Amy came up to the bar and placed her orders. “Feeling any better today?”
He flipped a glass and caught it in the air with a smile. “Best night of sleep in a while. I did the right thing. No regrets.”
Good to know because Amy had seen Samantha in here earlier with another guy. She worked fast. Though she gave Amy a dirty look she didn’t deserve, at least her date didn’t skimp on her tip. She was beginning to think maybe she’d still work here summers, once she got a job during the yearas a teacher. The people were nice, especially the owners. Valerie Kinsella had been David and Naomi’s schoolteacher in third grade, and she’d already said she’d refer Amy once she had her credentials. She was working on her first teaching program online in her spare time and had the test scheduled for next month.
Busy, and serving drinks one after the other, at first she didn’t recognize the man seated at a table in the bar section with two other men.
“Hey there, I thought that was you.”
