Page 65 of The Ex Next Door
They’d had such a wonderful evening and Declan had given her a dream kind of date.
“I meant like parents who have children. They’re the primary reason couples stay together.”
“Take it from me, it can’t be the only reason.” She sat up straighter. “Declan, tell me that you don’t really think…”
He shrugged. “I don’twantto believe it.”
“Then don’t because it’s not happening. Here’s the thing. I don’t love Rob anymore. I’m not sure exactly when I stopped, but I’m a little ashamed to say it was even before the divorce was finalized. He failed me in so many ways. I failed him, too. I would never make the same mistakes again in a marriage. Marriage iswork. Once you love someone, you’ve got to nurture that and never take it for granted. I’ll always love him as the father of my children but I’m not in love.”
“It’s enough to almost make me feel sorry for Rob.”
“Almost?”
Declan squeezed her hand. “I can’t feel too sorry for him. He blew it, so tough luck. Were it me, I’d have never let you go.”
Once, even a few short weeks ago, Amy might have bitterly brought up the fact that hehadlet her go. But those two people were a different Amy and Declan. This couple were grown-ups now and their attraction and need for each other were entirely different. To borrow one of Declan’s sports analogies, it was like the same team playing on an entirely different field. Maybe even with new equipment.
She giggled at the thought of new “equipment.”
“Not that I’m unhappy because hearing you laugh is much better than watching you cry, but what’s funny?”
“Silly me, just having an off-color thought.”
“Well, you should share.” He grinned.
“Maybe later.” She cleared her throat and tried to act casual. “Just out of curiosity. What would you have done? When you say you would have never let me go, what would that look like?”
“Well, I wouldn’t stalk you.” He snorted. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t have let it ever get to the point where you fell out of love with me. But if I’d been that stupid, if I’d have allowed that to happen, I would havegroveled.”
“You? Grovel?”
“You bet. And, of course, I would have gone to the couples counseling, or whatever you call it. Therapy. As you said, marriage is work. I imagine there are a lot of peaks and valleys, too. I’ve seen my parents go through it over the years.”
“I saw mine, too. Funny, we both had great examples of parents who set high standards. But it’s also a lot of pressure. I hated failing at my marriage when I’d had such a great example.”
“Yep.” Declan made a motion around his neck. “Finn and I both say it was like having a tourniquet around our neck. Finn didn’t make it the first time, but he learned a lot. And I’ve been sort of sitting on the sidelines waiting.”
Waiting for what? she wondered. The right one, maybe.
When they arrived, they both walked next door to his home without words. Amy held Declan’s hand, her excitement comingling with fear. It suddenly occurred to her, rather late, that she had a very different body from the one he’d previously seen naked. After all, she’d been through childbirth now and had the Caesarean scar to prove it. Because she had a daughter, Amy had always been keenly aware notto put an emphasis on her weight or inches. She might be a little plumper than some moms, but she was also happy and healthy. Unfortunately, at the moment she wished she hadn’t been quite so apathetic about her size.
“I’d say let’s watch TV, but I don’t want to get into another battle over the remote.” Declan laughed.
It had actually been an easy way to slide into touching each other but a repeat performance would seem boring. She had to think of some new and enticing way to attract Declan. After all, assuming he wanted to have sex tonight meant maybe she’d been flattering herself.
While she was overthinking these matters, apparently he’d left the room.
“Amy?”
She followed him into the kitchen. “Getting a beer?”
“Just a water. Want one?”
Oh, good. Maybe she wasn’t the only one nervous. Right now, she could guzzle the entire bottle down because her throat was parched and dry. Maybe the tears had dehydrated her. Either that or she was nervous to have sex for the first time in over a decade with a man who wasn’t her husband.
Chances are it was the second one.
Declan was eyeing her carefully after this first guzzle. “I have a confession to make.”
