Page 73 of The Alpha and the Baker
That was a convincing argument if I ever heard one.
Although my wolf wanted to go back to bed, I got up and went to the bathroom to refresh myself. I was slightly nervous that I’d be out of my depth in Felicia’s kitchen, but I was looking forward to it. I knew the space was important to her, and the factthat she was so happy to share it with me filled my chest with all sorts of warm and fuzzy things.
Hopefully, I wouldn’t fuck anything up.
I shoved that thought out of my mind. If there was one thing I’d learned in the past few days, it was that dwelling on my anxiety did me no good. In fact, it tended to rob me of what joy there was to be had.
I hurried down once I was refreshed and saw Felicia hauling various things and setting them down on different counters. I watched for a moment, then noticed she had laminated papers hanging above those sections. Ingredient lists.
“Oh, that’s clever.”
“What’s that?” she asked, huffing slightly as she set down the biggest Crisco container I’d ever seen.
“Oh, nothing,” I answered quickly, not wanting to distract her. I was supposed to be a help, not a hindrance. “You got something heavy you want me to lift?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” There was that beaming smile again. Even if I wasn’t a shifter, I liked to think that it would power me up enough that I could carry anything in her shop if she only wished it. “I’ve got three batches of sourdough, about eight different types of bagel batches and a big ol’ focaccia that’s gonna make at least three loaves all in the retarder.”
I paused mid-step. “I’m sorry, what?”
She frowned at me, then burst out laughing. “Right. I’ve been in the business too long because I forgot what that sounded like. So,to retardmeans to slow something down, so when it’s used in music, or in baking, or even in firefighting, you’re just saying slow it down.
“Unfortunately, a bunch of jerkwipes decided to hijack it and use it as a slur against people, which sucks, but I assure you, my retarder just uses a cooler to slow down the natural process ofyeast, ya know? It controls that natural fermentation process to make proofing even smoother and more predictable.”
“Ah, that makes sense. But what does your dough have to prove? Has it committed a crime?”
I tried to keep my face as deadpan as possible when I asked, and it worked like a charm. Felicia gave me another quizzical look before connecting her comment about proofing to my question.
“Oh my god, you’re terrible.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean tobatteryou with my puns.”
“Oh no! No, no,no!” she said with mock drama, emphatically waving her arms. “It is far too early for baking puns. Especially ones that sound like they came from the back of aHighlightsmagazine!”
“I take offense to that. I assure you, I make all my terrible puns from scratch.”
I batted my eyes at her, directly mimicking the same move she used on me.
She reached into a bag of flour. Felicia moved surprisingly fast for a human, and the next thing I knew, I had a flour print of her hand on my face.
“Did you justSimbame?” I asked, trying to hold back incredulous laughter, only to have it come out in short, staccato huffs.
“No,” she responded primly. “If I had, I would have just streaked some across your forehead with my thumb. No, I went allUruk-haion you with a whole-ass handprint. Welcome to the bakery,Lurtz!”
Funny, intelligent, athiccass, and sheknewLord of the Ringswell enough to name the character created specifically inThe Fellowship of the Ringsmovies for Aragon to kill directly?
She really was the perfect woman.
“Come here, you!” I said, lunging toward her and the flour. “ALurtzneeds hisUgluk!”
“No, no! I’m not the hobbit you’re looking for!” she said before darting to the side, dropping to her knees, and skittering under one of the counters. Wow, she really moved fast. “You’re not welcome here in the Shire!”
Then she lobbed a frozen stick of butter at me.
I dodged, but only barely, because I was laughing so hard. I was supposed to be helping Felicia, and I had thought that would mean a lot of hard work and being out of my depth, but so far I was having ablast.I’d never had so much fun after waking up at four-thirty in the morning.
“You’re gonna regret that.” I leaped over the counter and chased after her.
Felicia’s bakery wasn’t big, so I had to nerf myself a bit to give her more time to scramble away. I could have caught her a couple of times, but where was the fun in that? As both a wolf and a man, I likedtochase just as much as she enjoyed being pursued.
