Page 141 of A Tale of Ice and Ash
Eirwen shook her head. “No. No, that’s not–”
“It is,” he said. “And it was so very worth it. When your stepmother thought she killed you the first time, and ate that heart at my behest, and nothing happened, I just assumed I had been trapped in this place too long to be freed through that method. I was taking no chances this time. The coffin will take everything from you, including the remnant of sunlight seared to your soul. I will be more powerful than ever. A god among men. Nothing, nothing will stand in my way.”
Eirwen shuddered, because she knew he was right. There was nothing she could do.
But Cole and the twins were still trapped in that room. Someone might still come for them. If she could just stall him…
He wanted to talk. He had been voiceless for centuries.
“What– what happened to you? How did a being as powerful as you ever come to be trapped in here?”
“A millenia ago, I walked this world as a god, a supreme being, but others of my kind… took exception to how I used my powers to interfere with mortal business. They could not kill me, so they trapped me in here, rendering mealmostpowerless.”
“Almost?”
“I learned that when a human asked a question of me, I could answer it– could stretch my gaze out almost anywhere in the world, as long as they asked it of me.”
“But not dwarves.”
The gleeful look in his eyes darkened. “No, not dwarves. And when my old enemies figured that out, they banished me to a rocky prison, deep in the centre of earth. There I remained for centuries, until Jasper found me.”
“But how… how did you turn Jasper into that…thing?” she asked. “If dwarves are immune to your power–”
Janus smiled. “Immune from most of my power, yes, but not immune to my tongue. And Jasper didn’t know I couldn’t see what he asked of me. I spoke to him. He spoke back. I whispered suggestions. ‘Do you ever wonder what your brother thinks of you?’ ‘Do you ever fear what your sister-in-law thinks you’ve done?’ ‘Should you take her out before she rises against you?’ It took decades, in some cases, to convince him to take the power for himself, to persuade him he needed more, that his enemies were all around him, that if he truly wanted to protect himself…”
“He needed that monster in the deep.”
Janus nodded. “A creature as old as I am. It might have lived forever if it hadn’t fused itself with Jasper. He gave it the strength it needed to escape, at the time, but a dwarf’s body makes a poor host for a creature of magic. It could not survive after you blasted it with light.”
Whatever was left of Eirwen’s heart hammered against her ribcage.
“What happened to you? After the dwarven realm fell?”
“After that idiot tried to smash me, you mean?”
Eirwen nodded.
“I spoke to a dwarf amongst the wreckage. One who didn’t know what I was. I had him ask me how to get out, already knowing a safe route. He wished to thank me for saving him, so I asked him to have me reframed and given away. I whispered to every owner after to gift me to someone with power. ‘How much her Ladyship would appreciate an item like me...’ ‘think how much the Duke would favour you if you gave him a mirror that could tell him everything…’ Finally, I was gifted to the Queen of Florin, but she died before she could learn of my powers and I was left in an attic, gathering dust, until a young maid found me…”
“Bianca,” Eirwen whispered, “or whatever she was called.”
Janus smiled. “You know, sometimes I think even she forgets that she had another name. She has been Bianca for so long, and there’s nothing to tie her to the person she once was…”
“Except her son’s face.”
Janus snorted. “I suppose.”
Something rumbled, far away and incredibly close, like the sound of ripping paper rolled into thunder. A deep, uncomfortable feeling surged inside Eirwen’s chest. She clutched it, whatever good it could do. Her fingers felt nothing. Shewasnothing. Nothing but the pain at the core of whatever she used to be.
No, no. I’m still there. I’m still in that world. I’m not dead yet. I refuse to be dead.
She thought of the homestead, of apple pies, the smell of damp hay, the hearth, the warmth of the wood underfoot, the smell of Onyx’s tobacco and Oakley’s herb garden. Wren’s roar, Merry’s pipes, Garnet’s songs. She thought of staying up late under the covers with Juniper and Ivy, swapping stories into the night.
Be safe, be safe, be safe.
She thought of Niamh tucking her into bed at night, and her father doing the same, long ago. How disappointed they would be if she gave in now.
She thought of watching Cole sleep, the first night he came to them. She thought of the last night, the way she leant against him and listened to the sound of his breathing, his beating heart, and felt like it was music she’d been kept from all her life. An organ she didn’t know she had, but as necessary to her now as all the others.
You cannot have my heart. It is not yours. It is theirs. Pure, stained, mangled, perfect– whatever it is belongs to them.
To him.
A terrific crash split apart the white.
