Page 46 of A Rose of Steel
“Fingers crossed,” I said and held up my hand, one finger wrapped around the other.
“So you solved the first one and now are kind of undercover on this one?”
“Yeah, because if my cousin, Pogue, ever found out that I was meddling in his investigation, I think he’d burst a membrane.”
“Burst a membrane?” He threw his head back and laughed. “It’s not taking you long to pick up the slang down here.”
I suddenly felt defensive. “Beingdownhere. Orfromdown here, isn’t a bad thing,” I said. Shrugging, I added, “I am what I am.”
“Okay, Popeye,” he said, holding up his hands. “I like what you are.” He reached over and took my hand. “I love what you are.”
I smiled. At least outwardly. On the inside there was more that I wanted to say to him, but couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. Or was afraid to.
But it nagged at me, and nagged some more. I wanted to make the night enjoyable, so all during dinner I didn’t say anything. I just didn’t know when I’d see him again, and I didn’t want our last words to be angry or bitter ones, or with me whining about anything. But by the time the dessert menu was brought over, I just couldn’t keep quiet anymore. He was leaving. My heart was aching and I didn’t know where I stood. I didn’t know what I was waiting on.
“Did you think I was just going to run off without saying anything?” Alex said, when I told him I wasn’t sure if I was going to hear from him again when he left that night.
“You did,” I said. “I thought you’d be there when I got back.”
“I started feeling better, and I knew I had to drive to Lake Charles the first thing...” He looked at me. “Plus, I was hungry. We missed dinner and I hadn’t eaten all day. I grabbed a bite to eat and then, you know, I just wanted to get some rest. In a bed.”
“You were in a bed.”
“My hotel bed, you know what I meant.”
“So what is going on with us?” I took my fork and picked over the chocolate truffle cake I’d ordered. I had let my coffee get cold.
“The same thing that’s been going on with us,” he said.
“No, it’s not the same. Before you were married. We had to keep us a secret.”
“Well that part has changed,” he said, and smiled “That’s good, right?”
“Has it?”
“Of course it has,” he said. “I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret when I rented a car and drove nearly two hours to see you, was I?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He took in a breath, and I wasn’t sure if he was irritated with me, or just wanting me to understand. “Look, Romaine. We’re just going to have to tough out this long-distance relationship until we can get back to Chicago.”
“Is that still the plan?” I asked.
“Still my plan. I’m doing all I can, calling folks that owe me favors. But we can’t make a job appear out of thin air. It’s not me. It’s the economy.”
I chuckled. “That’s funny.”
“What?”
“The economy is keeping us apart.”
“Nothing can keep us apart,” Alex said. “Unless you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
I smiled.
“Look,” he said. “You can pack up right now and come back with me. Stay at my house and we can work this out. Coming here... Staying here seems to be what you want.”
“I just don’t want to have to count on you for everything I need.”
