Page 112 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
As was keeping it.
At worst, her foolish infatuation could kill her, and leave her siblings alone.
It would bring them nothing but pain and heartbreak, and it was not worth it.
Even if she suspected that he might be.
You have to ignore it,she reminded herself.You made it known it couldn’t happen again.
Eventually, exhaustion took over, and she grabbed a few hours’ sleep. It was barely enough to keep her functional in the morning, and she was relieved when it transpired that Dimitri would be having breakfast in the dining room with Alexei, and would not be requiring her services for the day.
A strange pang twisted inside her when Thomas was sent to help him dress instead, and not her.
Would things ever be able to return to the way they were?
She thought of the feeling of his lips on hers, and suddenly undressing him held entirely new meaning, a practical act made intimate.
And bathing him. Lords, however would she do such a thing again?
“Are you all right?” asked Erabella, taking the cup she’d been scrubbing from her hands.
There was no way she could tell anyone about this, least of all an impressionable young maid, who would be honour-bound to report to Mrs Minton.
“Quite fine, just tired.”
The girl nodded, although Adeline sensed she wasn’t quite believed.
Ironically, the person she wanted to talk to most was the one person she couldn’t turn to. Dimitri. How to unpack all of this to him, and not hurt him?
How to not hurt herself in the process?
“You’re oddly quiet today, cousin,” Alexei remarked over breakfast.
Dimitri did not raise his eyes above the newspaper he was trying to read. The tight, tiny print was proving troublesome, and he was wishing more than ever that Adeline was beside him, reading as he picked his breakfast. “I am often quiet.”
“You seem put out.”
“How can you tell?”
“Your tail is between your legs.”
Dimitri snapped his head down to check, but the appendage was draped behind him, doing little but twitching nervously.
Alexei laughed. Dimitri kicked him under the table. “Ass.”
“Yes, but a rather hilarious one.” He flicked a toast crumb at him. “Confess. What’s on your mind?”
Dimitri paused, clicking his fingers against the table and wondering what would happen if he told the truth. “You won’t tell anyone?”
“On my honour.”
He took a deep breath. “I kissed Adeline.”
Alexei hooted. “Well, of course you did! I can understand why. She’s a pretty enough thing—”
“Don’t do that,” Dimitri snapped.
“Do what?”
