Page 117 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
Dimitri’s left arm was in tatters, hanging on by a few shredded bits of muscle and flesh. Something white gleamed in the socket, and the trail of blood he’d left behind was thick and unimaginable.
Usually, the sight of so much blood made her think of her mother, but now the only fear that came was for Dimitri.
Her knees buckled.
A hand pressed into her back. “Steady now,” said Mrs Minton. “Stay calm.”
Adeline swallowed.Don’t break, don’t break, don’t break.
Dimitri’s eyes opened, and then he started to scream.
“Hold him steady!” The healer barked.
Adeline rushed forward. “Give him something for the pain!”
“It’ll take a while to work—”
“Give it to him!” Adeline seized his free hand as the assistant rooted around in the bags. “Dimitri, Dimitri, don’t look at your shoulder. Look at me, all right? I’m here. Just keep your eyes on me, please. Don’t look anywhere else.”
His eyes held hers, wild and desperate, and his cries dribbled away into something almost worse. He bit his bottom lip, trembling with pain.
The assistant returned with a vial of something, administering the entire contents to Dimitri. The healer plunged back into his arm, trying to arrange the flesh into something resembling order, and the screaming began again in earnest.
“Give him a moment, please!” Adeline pleaded.
“You want him to lose the arm?”
Dimitri let out a different cry, a panicked, painful moan. He stared at Adeline in horror.
“Do it,” she said, “just… try and be gentle.”
“I can’t promise that.”
The servants held Dimitri steady as the healer set to work again, his body jerking under the pressure of the work. His screaming got quieter, but Adeline knew from the look in his eyes and the grip of his hand that he could still feel everything. She kept talking until her voice was hoarse. How could he still be conscious during this? She wanted him to pass out. It was awful, unbearable—
“It’s going to be all right,” she told herself as much as him. “I know it hurts, but it will pass. Just look at me, Dimitri. Listen to me. You’re going to be fine, just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer, dearest…”
She hardly knew where the words were coming from, hardly cared about their audience, or anything in the room apart from him. She kept talking, kept stroking his hair, kept his eyes on her as the surgeon worked and the screams dribbled into moans as the drugs took effect.
Finally, mercifully, he passed out. Adeline remained by his side, clenching his hand, as if her fingers had been rendered in stone.
The healer continued his work in the silence, stitching the arm back together.
The blood was everywhere.
“It’ll hold,” said the healer confidently. “With his extended healing, it should work. Keep an eye for infection, but he should be fine with rest. Send someone to clean this mess.”
“I can—” Adeline started, wanting to do something, anything, even if the thought of cleaning up all of that…thosepartsof Dimitri sloshed across the floor made her stomach turn.
Mrs Minton shook her head. “Go with Dimitri. Thomas, fetch a stretcher. I won’t have him wake up in this place.”
Adeline stared once more at the blood on the floor. A normal person might never wake up. She didn’t know how long it would take Dimitri.
Mrs Minton escorted the healer and his assistant to the door. Hughes went to assist Thomas with the stretcher. For a moment, they were alone.
This is my fault,she thought bitterly.Because he wore the chains. To protect me. All this for a few moments…
Adeline rarely lost herself in thoughts of worthlessness, but she did in that moment. She was not worth this.
