Page 120 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
Dimitri did not wake up the rest of the day. He remained immobile in his bed, still beneath the sheets. Adeline tended to him as best she possibly could. She changed the cloths beneath him, kept him clean and warm, tried to hydrate him, rubbed his limbs to stimulate his pulse. His breathing was perfectly steady.
But he did not wake.
Alexei drifted in and out of the room, often drawn out for political duties by his stiff-lipped assistant Algernon, who acted as if Dimitri had done this to spite him.
Adeline wasn’t sure whether or not she liked Alexei’s presence. He lightened the mood with his dramatic readings, spoke to her of inconsequential things, and the time did seem to pass more quickly with him around.
Mrs Minton came to check on them too, offering food and fussing over the immaculate sheets. She never stayed long, as if the sight of Dimitri lying there burned her.
Adeline found herself glad of the company, but she found she liked it when they were alone, too. Even if she couldn’t bring herself to speak to him, even if she could do little more than hold his hand… it felt oddly natural.
We are meant to be like this,she told him privately.Just the two of us.She gripped his hand harder.I will hold unto you forever, until you are bones and wrinkles, until you are dust. I will not let go of you.
“My poor, sweet…” She stopped, unsure how to finish. My Lord, my friend? Neither and both of those. More. Everything. “I’m sorry,” she said instead. “Wake up, please.” Her throat hurt, and she found she couldn’t manage anything else.
From time to time, she tried to occupy herself with reading, but she felt silly reading aloud, much like she did whenever she spoke to her parents’ graves. There was no point. He was not listening.
Sometimes, she’d lose herself just enough to manage a smile at the passage she read, and she’d look up, certain she’d see him laughing too.
But he wasn’t. He was still and quiet as the stone that marked where her parents lay.
“Dimitri,” she said softly, “you need to wake up, now. Please. It’s growing lonely here without you.” And then, harder, “It was always lonely without you.”
The day after, Elliott came to see her. She’d quite forgotten it was Sunday again.
“Thomas came by,” he said, squeezing her shoulder. “He told us what happened. How’s he doing?”
Adeline swallowed, refusing to cry in front of him. “I don’t know.”
“And how are you holding up?”
“Please don’t ask me that.” She balled her fists into her apron, and shut her eyes, trying to think of something—anything—else. “How do you know Thomas?”
“He delivered the hamper,” Elliott explained. “Stayed to chat for a little while. He seems nice.”
“He is.”
“But not like Dimitri is, right?”
A fragment of a smile slipped by her walls.No one is like Dimitri.
Silently, Elliott pulled up a chair and sat down beside her, draping his arm around her shoulders. “Adeline,” he said quietly, “it isn’t just a one-sided crush, is it?”
Adeline paused. “No,” she said quietly. “Maybe it was to begin with. Maybe there was a fragment of time somewhere in the middle. But not now.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Stay with him,” she replied simply. “Stay with him until I can’t any more.”
“Adie—”
“Oh, don’t look at me like it’s some great sacrifice, El. I get paid to stay beside a person I adore. It’s not like I have any dreams to lose.”
“You have dreams. We all do.”
“Oh? What are yours?”
He snorted. “I’ll tell you one day, but you may not like them.”
