Page 32 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
“I don’t think you did,” she assured him. “But even if you had, it’s all right. I understand. It’s hard to be nice when you’re in pain.”
Dimitri pried his good eye open. “Do you suffer from some secret ailment I don’t know about?”
She shook her head. “A different kind of pain. I… I lost both of my parents within a few months of each other. I found it hard, after they died, to be nice to anyone for a while. Like all of my mental energies were taken up trying to just keep breathing. I didn’t have any space to be nice, to explain things kindly.”
Dimitri stared at her, like she was the one being ripped apart by her own body, and he the one powerless to watch. “I am sorry about your parents,” he said. “That can’t have been easy for you.”
Adie swallowed. “It still isn’t.”
“So… it’s just you and your siblings now?”
She nodded.
“And you’re the eldest.”
She nodded again.
“Adie—”
“Please don’t ask me to talk about it,” she said, aware of the rawness of her voice.
Dimitri closed his mouth for a moment, silently agreeing. He wound his fingers into hers. The good one, of course. He never touched her with the other if he could help it. “Would you… come and sit closer, please?”
She pulled her chair closer.
“No, no chair,” he said. “I’d… I’d like you next to me, if that’s all right with you?”
“On… the bed?”
“Only if that’s all right.”
It probably was a gross impropriety, but she was his maid, and Mrs Minton wanted her to be more than that. His companion. His friend. A friend could comfort him in whatever way she wanted.
She slipped onto the mattress and sat beside him.
“Can… can I put my head in your lap?”
“Will it help at all?”
“I think so,” he said. “May I?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
He slid his head into her lap, and her hands moved unconsciously to his hair again, her fingers brushing through it. He moaned softly under her touch.
“Sorry, is that painful?”
“Quite the opposite,” he said, moving further into her. “Your parents must have been good people.”
“Why do you say that?”
“They raised you.”
A lump formed in Adie’s throat, and she stiffened.
“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to—”
“No, it’s fine,” she insisted. “I just miss them, and sometimes…”
