Page 44 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
And being with Adeline, of course, seeing her in her natural habitat, even if he felt a strange twinge at how easy she was with everyone, how free with her hugs and kisses. No wonder she was so good with him.
After lunch, he took the little one out into the garden and played with her until she slumped down in his arms and was asleep within seconds.
No one in Dimitri’s entire life had fallen asleep on him before. He decided he quite liked it. There was something delightful about the chubby cheeks sponged over his arm, the warm weight against him.
He didn’t have much experience with children, but he decided he quite liked them, too.
He barely noticed Adeline until she was sitting beside him. “I see you've been captured by the baby-monster,” she said, stroking Edie’s curls from her face. “Want me to put her down for you?”
“Oh no, she’s fine where she is.” A short moment ticked by in silence. “I understand why you couldn’t tell me too much about them, but… I’m glad I know now.”
“I… Iwantedto tell you—”
“Pain hurts to talk about,” he said. “Believe me, I get it.” He went quiet for a moment. “So you’ve been raising them by yourself, ever since your mother passed?”
“Well, Elliott didn’t need much raising and Leonie quickly stepped up, too. We raised each other.”
“Something tells me you were probably already there.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “No way of telling now—who I’d be if they hadn’t died when they did.”
“I would have liked you anyway.”
Adeline nudged his shoulder, and he felt awful at taking any form of happiness from her pain, for knowing that they would never have met if her parents hadn’t died.
He often wondered who he would be without the curse, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she probably wouldn’t like that version of him. He knew he was far from a good person, but for a moment, he thought about who he would have been if his father had shipped him off to school, if he’d spent more of his formative years surrounded by high society, had learned to scorn the servants like his father did.
It wasn’t quite enough to make him feel grateful for the curse, but it was enough to make him feel less miserable.
“You all right?” she asked. “You look tired.”
“Your family have exhausted me.”
“Now you know why I enjoy work so much.”
He snorted softly, and resisted the urge to ask her if that was the only reason. He decided against it, not entirely sure he’d like the answer. If this excursion today proved anything, it was how much of a fundamentally selfless person she was, that her kindness and patience was not merely reserved for him.
He looked up at the sky. Afternoon was dissolving into evening.
“I should get back,” he said.
“Of course,” said Adeline, taking Edie from his arms. “I’ll just put this one down.”
He shook his head. “Take another night off. Recompense for the extra hours you put in the other day. I’ll let Mrs Minton know. Stay here with your family. They miss you.”
Adeline frowned, but she did not argue. “Are you sure? It’s the full moon. I’m supposed to—”
“It’s fine!” he snapped, standing up. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be in the dungeons, heavily guarded. There’ll be nothing for you to do.”
“I should walk you back, at least—”
“I’m not a child,” he hissed, and then, quieter than before, “there’s nothing in these parts more fearsome than I am.”
He couldn’t let her see what he became when the moon was full. He’d been planning on ordering her to stay away, but this was better, much better. There was no way she’d be curious, like some of the others had been before. He didn’t much relish the walk home without her, but it had been quiet enough on the way there. He’d be safe from prying eyes and sneers and looks of horror.
He wished he’d not snapped at her, though. He peered over his shoulder, certain she would be looking at him with disdain, but there was little in her face at all.
“Dimitri?” she said softly, climbing to her feet with the baby over her shoulder.
