Page 46 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
They tried to talk of other things, but the conversation had mostly been exhausted yesterday. Adeline wasn’t used to stolen time, and found herself unsure what to do with it. The skies darkened, the moon came out, round and full and intrusive. She wondered what was happening, why Dimitri didn’t want her to see, why she wanted to be there.
“You’re worried about him,” Elliott remarked, following her gaze.
“I’m good at worrying about people.”
“Maybe you should adopt him, if you don’t fancy him.”
“It isn’t like that.”
“He isn’t an obligation, you mean?”
“You are not an obligation!”
“I’m not, but the children?”
Adeline sighed, not wanting to argue. She loved her family. She would have died for them in a heartbeat. But Elliott was not wrong, and sometimes she wished she could truly, properly hand over responsibility to someone else. The worries never ceased, and she could not cleave them from her mind for a minute.
It was a little like that with Dimitri.
“I know… I know he’s a job. I know that. But there’s more to it. I… I have fun, most of the time. He makes me laugh.”
“Great. Want to swap?”
“No offense, El, but you’re not exactly Mr Healing-Hands.”
Her brother laughed, short and warm. He was beginning to sound a lot like her father, she realised. Looked more like him, too, a reminder that although her parents were gone, a little part of them lived on.
She wondered who Edie would take after, or if by the time she was grown the faces of both of her parents would have faded so far from her memory that she wouldn’t quite know.
“I’m happy for you,” Elliott continued when his laughter trailed off, looking older than a boy of sixteen.
“Happy that I like my employer?”
“Happy thatyou’rehappy. And that you’re doing healing work again. I know after… This is what you’re meant to do. Help people.”
“I’m not like Leonie.”
“No oneis like Leonie. But there are other ways of helping people. Other ways of healing, too.”
Adeline shook her head. “I hate it when you sound all wise.”
“Yeah, wonder where I getthatfrom.” He kicked her chair lightly. “Seriously, Adie. I understand if you don’t want to go back to midwifery, but you should think about becoming a healer.”
“We could never afford the fees for two of us to learn.”
“So apprentice yourself. Any humble healer would be glad to have you, and you’re far from inexperienced. I’m sure your young lord would write you a beautiful reference—”
“Elliott,” she said warningly.
“What is it?”
“I can’t watch someone die again.”
Elliott tensed. “It was Mama, not someone. You can’t lose her twice.”
Adeline balled her fingers into fists, unable to explain he was wrong even when he was right. She uttered a few more non-committal phrases to dispel any gloom between them, and dismissed herself to bed.
She slipped into the room she shared with her two sisters. Edie had already wriggled out of her own bed and slipped into Adeline’s. She didn’t bother putting her back. She used to be firm when she was living here all the time, determined to get the best night’s sleep she could, but now that she was away most of the week, she missed the wriggling lump.
