Page 48 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
A fine golden glow was lifting over the fields as the two of them set off, bathing the grass in a soft, white light. Somewhere, a farmer was whistling in his fields, but aside from him, the faint twittering of birds, and Edie’s gummy sounds, the world stood still and quiet.
It was a beautiful morning. Adeline had missed this time.
She wondered if Dimitri had ever been for an early morning walk. It would be the ideal time, when the sunlight wasn’t too harsh for him. Perhaps she’d suggest it when she got back.
Not wanting to go too far whilst dragging a toddler behind her, she steered her into the churchyard, closed the gate behind them, and let the little girl go skipping about the green as she went to see her parents’ grave.
Adeline wasn’t sure she believed in ghosts or spirits or an afterlife at all, and if there was one, if her parents were able to hear her voice in the beyond, she was certain she shouldn’t need to visit a graveyard to do so. But it was peaceful in the churchyard, and sometimes she liked to come here just for the quiet.
She cleaned out the dead flowers from the jar on top of the stone, scraping the moss from their names.
Edward and Georgia Elsing. Beloved Husband and Wife. Rest in peace.
It had taken a long time for Adeline to take any kind of comfort in the fact they were together now, a long time not to be angry that the world had taken both of them, and so close together, but her chest no longer crackled as she looked at their headstone.
Illness had taken her father when he was away on business. It had been completely unexpected, all-consuming, like a void opening up underneath them. Adeline had not been able to understand how her mother kept functioning, how she got up the next day and fed them all, even forcing herself to eat.
But of course, she had to. She had five children and a baby in her belly to think of. She hadn’t had a choice, just like Adeline didn’t when she was left in charge.
She knew her mother grieved, but she grieved privately, never letting anyone glimpse quite how much she must have been shattering.
“I miss you, Mama,” she said softly to the cold grey stone, as Edie sang something about butterflies behind her. “But we’re doing all right.”
It always felt strange to say more than that, so she kept the rest of her thoughts to herself, picked some wildflowers from the hedge to make up another bouquet for them, and went to take Edie home.
Elliott was up spooning porridge into bowls, the boys were setting the table, and Leonie was reading a book over the chaos. She quizzed Adie on the handful of massage techniques she’d schooled her on the night before.
“Take notes,” she encouraged her. “I want to know how it goes.”
“Of course, little sister.”
Elliott handed her a basket. “Cake, for the Young Lord. He looks like he could do with a few treats.” He kissed her cheek, ruffling the rest of the family’s heads. “Right, young goblins, I’m off to mow a meadow. Leonie, you’ll get the boys to school and drop Edie off at Mrs Parsons?”
“It would be a bit chaotic if I forgot, wouldn’t it?” she said, not looking up from her book.
He sighed. “Try not to antagonise the teachers.”
“I’lltry,” she returned, and then, more quietly, “I probably won’t succeed, though…”
Elliott did not hear; he was already out the door.
“Not much longer,” Adeline told Leonie. “A year or so at the house, we should be able to afford the first term’s fees to send you to a proper academy.”
Leonie shrugged. “You should be coming with me.”
“You know that’s not possible.”
“What’s possible and what should be aren’t always the same, it’s true.” She looked up from her book. “You best get going. You don’t want to be late.”
“Are you sure—”
“I’m sure,” Leonie said. “I can handle things here.”
Adeline snatched the porridge bowl from Edie’s grip. “If you’re sure…”
“Go! Get back to your lord. He probably misses you.”
Something sparked in Adeline’s chest at those words, and she didn’t argue, dispersing kisses amongst her siblings and giving Edie a big enough squeeze to last through the rest of the week. She placed the basket into the crook of her arm and set off down the path, aware she was moving quicker than necessary.
