Page 77 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
“Did you love him?” he asked, feeling like he had to know, no matter how much he would hurt.
“I… I wanted to. It would have been convenient to. But no.”
“Did he love you?” he asked, as if that wasn’t obvious from the way Jean had looked at her, from the fact she wasAdeline,and who wouldn’t fall into a cave of despair for a single smile she bestowed on them?
Adeline’s silence thickened. “Yes,” she said eventually.
“Did you kiss him?”
At this, she pulled an incredulous face. “Of course. Quite a lot, actually.”
Something akin to pain brewed inside him as he thought of someone touching her that way. He knew that was ridiculous, that he shouldn’t be angry at the thought of that having happened. It was unwarranted, foolish, childish. Adeline could kiss whoever she liked.
“What’s it like?” he asked instead.
“What’s what like?”
“Kissing. I’ve never… ofcourseI’ve never—” His hands went to his face, the twisted fur beneath the mask. He’d been too young before, and no girl would come close to him afterwards.
Adeline dug him in the ribs. “Your lips are fine. It’s your personality that’s the problem.”
Dimitri chewed his bottom lip, not smiling.
“Hey, I’m only teasing. You know I like your personality.”
“And… and the rest of me?”
“What are you asking?”
“I know… I knowyou’renot scared of me, but… but do you think that someone could ever fall for a face like this? Wouldn’t mind… wouldn’t mind kissing it?” He didn’t dare hope for her, but maybe, one day, someone, anyone...
“Well, that depends.”
“On what?”
“How nice you are to them. If you… if you let other people know you like you’ve letmeknow you, I don’t foresee it being a problem. It could be very easy to fall for you.”
She sounded earnest, and he didn’t know why her answer didn’t comfort him as much as it should. Perhaps because it still meant he needed to go outside, to talk to people again, and he wasn’t sure he had it in him.
Or perhaps it was because, deep down, he knew he didn’t care what other people thought or if no one in the world ever loved him, as long as she did.
Couldyoufall for a face like this?
Wouldyoukiss me?
You, you, you...
“Are you all right?”
“Adie, I—”
The band struck up a tune, a jolly one he knew well. “Dancing,” he said. “It’s long overdue. Shall we?”
Chapter Nineteen: The Fortune-teller
Dimitri danced with Adeline, he danced with others, he danced in a crowd. Years peeled back until he was a giddy boy again, careless and free, and an unspoilt, unbroken future lay ahead of him.
They danced until their sides split, until their lungs were breathless and bursting, until the swirling orange of the fire blurred with the blackness of the sky and gravity had turned on its head.
