Page 85 of A Curse of Hope and Shadows: Part I
A few of Guy’s friends tugged at him, all with some degree of sense left in them. Somewhere, Dimitri knew his status was protecting him, that things would be a lot worse for him if he didn’t have his family name to fall back on.
He did not care.
He ran.
Adeline followed, stopping beside him when he picked up one of the hay bales and tore it in two. She said nothing when he kicked over a bucket, when he smashed a pumpkin into a display.
She stopped him when he grabbed a torch.
“No,” she said, the same dark quality she’d used on the others.
“Why can’t I?” he said, still holding the torch above her head. “Isn’t this what people like me do? Anything they want?”
“But you don’twantto do that,” she said, her voice quavering. “You’re not like that.”
“Am I not?” He yanked his hand away from her, prepared to hurl it into the hay, but at the last moment he threw it into a water trough instead, letting out a long, hateful groan. “I’m going home.”
Adeline was quiet for a moment. “I’m supposed to walk you back.”
“Don’t,” he hissed, and marched away into the dark. His arm still pulsed,allof him pulsed, as if anger were a suit of nails he’d been forced into. He thought he might cry, or vomit, and he’d had enough of her seeing that. Had enough of her seeing all of his weakness, all of his flaws and scars.
How could he ever, ever have dreamt she would care for him?
You are not alone in this world.
But he was. He would always be.
“Dimitri!” Adeline called after him. “You’re only a monster if you act like one!”
Chapter Twenty: Apologies
By the next morning, the pain had vanished, as had most of his anger. At least, most of the anger directed at the world, or Jean, or Guy, or the fortune-teller. He was still very much angry at himself.
And his father.
He stared down at his left arm.
This was your fault,he whispered inwardly.Yours. No one else’s. And not mine.
As soon as he calmed down, he remembered that he’d yet to tell Adeline about the fortune-teller, and that the final knot in his chest would abate when he did.
He also owed her an apology.
He was bitterly disappointed when Thomas brought him his breakfast instead, before remembering that it was her day off.
Thomas set down the tray, displaying a large black bruise on his forehead.
“What happened to you?” Dimitri demanded.
“Minty threw a frying pan at me when I came home without you.”
“I—” Dimitri stilled. He hadn’t even thought about what reprimands Thomas and Adeline would face when he’d run off without either, but for Minty to—
“I’m only teasing,” said Thomas. “Minty wouldn’t do that. I flirted with the wrong person at the tavern.”
“A girl did that to you?” Dimitri asked, aghast. What had Thomas done?
“No, a rather good-looking burly circus performer… but he didn’t hit me. Just stepped nimbly out of the way and let the table behind him do the rest. Humiliating.” Thomas laughed at his own misfortune, touching the bump lightly. “Lesson learned.”
